Through Tears Comes Wisdom

She must have cried herself to sleep every night for seventeen months. That's at least how long it would have taken me to put my words onto paper without falling apart.

I am referring to an article I was offered to read. This article was written by a mother whose son has Tay-Sachs disease. A child with this horrendous disease rarely lives to see their third birthday. This woman's son is now 18 months old. Here is the direct link for those who choose to read it: http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/16/opinion/sunday/notes-from-a-dragon-mom.html?src=tp&smid=fb-share. Be warned...have a tissue box in hand. For those who choose not to read the article, I will summarize for you.

Emily Rapp, is a professor of creative writing at the Santa Fe University of Art and Design. She tells how she had genetic testing for Tay-Sachs, not once, but twice. Both times the results were negative. None of the prenatal testing came back positive. Emily and her husband were excited, looking forward to a happy, healthy baby. They read all the prenatal books to ensure that they would make the best choices for their baby. I can certainly relate. Both my husband and I had $3,000 worth of every genetic test available. We came out with 100% perfect results. Like Rapp, we did the same thing. We read the best books, were staunch advocates for breast feeding, I even put ear phones on my belly for an hour each day, playing classical music while I napped (my son was calmest when Vivaldi or Bach was played). My son was such a sleepy, quiet baby, that at one of my prenatal check-ups, it took almost three hours! The technician needed to take important measurements and my son just would not move. She even called in the doctor, who straddled me and massaged my abdomen to get my son to move. Again, no luck. I ended up having to come back the next day. Thank goodness my son was much more cooperative then.

I look back on my pregnancy, as Rapp must have, with spinning mobiles and fancy bedding dancing in my head. I fantasized about holding my baby in a sling as I did errands, completely non-sleep deprived (I did say it was a fantasy). I was eagerly looking forward to a perfect baby in every way, as I'm sure Rapp was.

I'm not sure when Rapp was given the diagnosis of her son's condition. I do know that the nightmare I had with my son began during labor and only started to wind down about two years ago, once all of my son's disorders were finally identified. My son was six then. Six completely draining years. Six years of ineffective bonding. I regret those six years. But I have developed such an incredibly strong, impenetrable bond with my 8 year-old son, it is as if those first six years never happened. My son doesn't remember. Unfortunately I always will. 

 As I was up with my baby son multiple times per night, with his colic and reflux, for just about three years, I can imagine Rapp welcoming watching her son sleep at night, sighing in his sleep and reaching out to pick him up if he needed comforting. What I viewed as torture, to Rapp would have been, and probably is, the loveliest time of her day. As my son easily had a good twenty-five meltdowns a day, starting at eleven months old, Rapp would probably have embraced laughingly that her son still had so much vigor and fight left in him. When my 18-month old flung his plate of spaghetti and sauce across the kitchen, splattering every wall, floor, and 2 dogs, and I wanted to slide down into a heap and cry. Rapp is probably flinging spaghetti herself, just to hear more laughter come from her son.

Looking back, I wish that I was aware of each of my son's disorders when he was a baby. I blamed myself for my son's uncontrollable nature and didn't realize I had prolonged postpartum depression. I would have forgiven him as well as myself for our lack of bonding those first young years. Rapp is giving her son a gift. A gift he will never be aware of, but she will. And the grief and pain will probably never fully dissipate. But the knowledge that she spent every waking moment (and unslept moment) being fully with her child, must fill her with even a small amount of gratitude. She gave of herself completely. Without self-pity or repressed anger. That is what makes her story so special. She asks the question: How do you parent a child who has no future? You don't. You throw the "rules" out the window and make each day more special than the day before.

She must have cried a bucket full of tears. I know I have. But I still have my precious son with me. She does too. But only for a little while longer.

Cara's Fabulous Finds

Lisa Damiani's

StarRock for Kids

1989 Star Search Winner, Lisa Diamani, created a premiere CD compilation featuring kids ages five to seventeen! These talented kids sing hits from past decades to today's hottest songs!

Curator of talent and Founder/CEO Lisa Diamani wanted to create a platform to provide all children an equal opportunity to express their creativity regardless of economical or geographical challenges. 

As a top vocal coach in NYC, Diamani hopes that StarRock for Kids will encourage both introverted and extroverted children a way to pursue their dreams. Lisa says, "I wanted to create StarRock for Kids not as a talent competition, but as a way for children to gain confidence and express their creativity."

StarRock for Kids CD features 18 songs from various decades, including S.O.S. (Rihanna), Holiday (Madonna), It's a Beautiful Life (Ace of Base), Girlfriend (Avril Levigne), Makes Me Wonder (Maroon 5), You Make Me Feel So Young (Frank Sinatra), If I Can't Have You (Yvonne Elliman), and L-O-V-E (Nat King Cole).

I listened to the CD with my eight-year-old son and his music loving friend. Although they performed their own "moves" to all of the songs, they particularly enjoyed, "See You Later Alligator", "Boogie Oogie Oogie", "We Got the Beat", and "Funkytown". Command performances were requested for each of these favorites! I am sure girls would choose more emotional songs. The CD as a whole was a hit with my son and his friend! I would definitely use it for my son's next party or special event!

StarRock for Kids is available online at www.StarRockForKids.com or at major retailers such as Target and Walmart.

Z-Access 3D Display Frames

Have you ever wanted to display souvenirs, keepsakes or other memorabilia, but have found that traditional shadowboxes just don't work? Then the 3D Display Frames are just for you!

Z-access Display Frames allow you to showcase your most treasured items in full 3D. Your items are safely protected against dust, moisture or fingerprints. With innovative polymer film technology along with do-it-yourself simple assembly, the Z-Access Display Frames suspend your special items in an affordable, moisture resistant, worry-free way. The slightly tacky film stretches to fit a wide range of shapes and sizes. It is puncture resistant, will not damage delicate surfaces and leaves no sticky residue.

My son collects real shark teeth. He has 2 large ones that were just sitting on his shelf, collecting dusk, with no place to meaningfully display them. I placed them in the Z-Access 3D Frame. We now have his treasured shark teeth, suspended in a frame that allows him to see all sides of them! (See photo). No more clutter, mess or dust! I would like to buy more frames to use for several of his other "treasures"!

What is even better is the fact that the Z-Access Display Frames conform to virtually any shape and still afford a tactile experience without any damage to the item itself. And, unlike shadowboxes, the Z-Access Display Frame allows you to touch the items and feel their unique texture without the risk of damage.

Each 6" x 4" frame can hold up to three pounds. It also couldn't be simpler to use: open the frame, place your item inside the film and close the frame. If you want to change the item in the frame, just pop open the frame and swap out the items. The memory-film will reshape to fit almost any new item of similar depth. The film inserts can also be replaced, with no need to replace the entire frame.

Z-Access Display Frames are available in three models: a Stand Alone version with a fixed base for $12.99, a Slimline rotating frame-within-a-frame for 360 degree viewing for $16.99 and an Executive rotating frame-within-a-frame for $29.99.

For more information, or to purchase a Z-Access Display Frame, visit www.Displayit3D.com.

Company Kids / Backpack Giveaway

Company Kids is very graciously giving our readers a chance to win a child’s backpack! Even though school is in session, I know that a Mom can never enough of anything when it comes to kids! In fact, just last week, my son’s backpack was dangling from the kitchen chair and water had pooled underneath. When I looked closer, I found the dripping coming from the bottom of my son’s backpack! His water bottle was not closed fully and was on it’s side, soaking the bottom of his backpack. Out came my spare for him to use the next day while this one dried!

Children also need different backpacks for events they participate in. Sometimes they simply forgot to bring it home from school. Others simply wear out by mid-year.

I was able to to see one of the actual backpacks being used for the Giveaway. I was highly impressed! The backpacks are high quality, durable canvas. It comes with adjustable straps, side and front pockets, even a small pouch inside for change or small items to tuck away! It can also be personalized with a monogram from a variety of fonts and colors to choose from!

To enter this giveaway, tell us why you would like a Company Kids backpack and how old your child(ren) are. You must post a comment by October 30, 2011 to be entered to win. Winners will be chosen at random.

Good luck!

Cara's Books That Beckon

Pirates and Princesses

By

Jill Kargman and Daughter, Sadie

This story of friendship and the playground, was written by NY Times Best Selling Author, Jill Kargman, her 8-year-old daughter Sadie, and NY Times Best Selling Illustrator, Christine Davenier, as an energetic tale all youngsters will be able to relate to. 

When Jill's daughter, Sadie, was insulted by a boy on the playground, she let loose an inappropriate verbal comeback. Jill was called in by the teacher. It was suggested that both Jill and Sadie sit down to read a rather boring book about mice and cheese, which emphasized how to play nicely. Both Jill and Sadie found the book so boring that they decided to write their own book together! A fabulous teaching experience for a child! Thus Pirates and Princesses was born.

Pirates and Princesses begins with a pair of Moms who are best friends, and their same age children. The young children of these Moms are also best friends since they grew up together. Once the children, Ivy and Fletch, enter Kindergarten, they face their first taste of peer pressure: The girls only play with the girls while the boys only play with the boys. Thus, Ivy and Fletch are separated by the Princess Team versus the Pirate Team. Once Fletch steps in to rescue Princess Ivy from a pirate capture do the friends realize how much they have missed playing with one another. But will their special bond be strong enough to unite the rest of the playground?

I read this book with my 8-year-old son who could relate to the storyline. He has a friend he has known since he was two-years-old, named Elena. The two are still close friends and have frequent playdates. I sense, however, that unless their activities involve gender neutral activities, they also will be caught in peer pressured scenarios. Although, both are active and playful, my son is slowly gravitating towards Beyblades and Star Wars while I am sure Elena is cuddling her favorite toys. I am still holding out hope that, like Ivy and Fletch, my son and Elena will continue to delight in each other's company despite gender differences on the playground!

Best selling author, Jill Kargman, paired with her daughter, Sadie and the beautiful, endearing artwork of Christine Davenier, bring to readers the light-hearted tale of gender differences, the unforgettable lesson of open-mindedness, and the breaking down of barriers in this lovely book. Pirates and Princesses will surely resonate with both children and parents alike!

About the Author: 

Jill Kargman has written several novels for women and teens, as well as more than 100 articles for magazines such as Vogue, Elle, Teen Vogue, and Harper's Bazaar, and several shows for MTV. Written with her daughter, Sadie, Pirates and Princesses is her first children's picture book. Her website is: www.jillkargman.com.

About the Illustrator:

Christine Davenier has illustrated numerous books, the most recent being the NY Times bestseller, The Very Fairy Princess.

The Bedtime Book for Dogs

By

Bruce Littlefield

"The Bedtime Book for Dogs," written by Bruce Littlefield is a unique and sweet, one-of-a-kind story that has been getting buzz both in and out of the kennel! This light-hearted, cute book is particularly appropriate for anyone who is a dog lover, especially dog loving children!

In this very original and delightful book, bestselling author, Bruce Littlefield introduces a first of it's kind story to read to your dog (as well as your child) before bed.

"The Bedtime Book for Dogs" describes a rather intelligent dog who decides that he would rather walk to the park by himself than wait for his owner. During this adventure, this dog finds that going for a walk by yourself is just not as exciting as walking with a friend.

I first had my 8 year-old son read the book by himself. We then mutually decided to read this lovely book to one of our dogs. The average dog knows approximately 167 words. We know our dog, Maxi, is way smarter than average and has gone to training classes when he was young. We used the book to guide Maxi to go to his bed and lie down. Maxi complied. My son then proceeded to read the book to Maxi. As Maxi listened attentively (probably hoping for a treat in the end), my son followed the book's "instructions" to prime Maxi to pay attention (again, hoping for a treat!). When the book mentioned that the dog fetched his own leash and opened the door himself (both which Maxi has demonstrated in the past, to our amazement!), my son started rolling on the floor in laughter, recalling the times Maxi has tried to "walk himself!" At the end of the book, Maxi was praised for being such a good listener and received his treat! My son received a face full of kisses! Happiness abound!

This engaging book, with adorable illustrations by Paul S. Heath, is a perfect gift for dog lovers! An easy to read book, with words dogs will understand, such as "come" and "sit,"  "The Bedtime Book for Dogs" will have children reading to their pets again and again! I can certainly attest to that as my reluctant reader son has made reading this book to our dog practically an every night ritual! Since our dog knows that a treat will be presented at the end, he is quite a willing participant!

Bruce Littlefield is a bestselling author of books on American culture such as Garage Sale America and Merry Christmas, America. You can visit his website at www.brucelittlefield.com.

For more information about,"The Bedtime Book for Dogs," you can go Grand Central Publishing's website, www.hachettebookgroup.com.

This book is easy enough for early readers to read and comprehend. Cute enough for older readers to relate to. And adorable enough for both dogs and adults to appreciate! Particularly when treats are provided at the end!

Professor Wormbog

in Search for the

Zipperump-a-Zoo

By

Mercer Mayer

The very first thing that my eight year-old son mentioned about this book was that the illustrations very closely reminded him of his favorite book, "Where the Wild Things Are," by Maurice Sendak. I absolutely agree. This may be one of the reasons my son found "Professor Wormbog" so engaging.

"Professor Wormbog in Search for the Zipperump-a-Zoo” is a timeless book written by beloved children's author Mercer Mayer who is known for his "Little Monster" and "Little Critters" series.

Mayer's books, with their cute, lovable characters, go through situations that every child experiences. "Professor Wormbog" follows this theme. It tells the story of how difficult it is to find a Zipperump-a-Zoo. Professor Wormbog has collected a Kerploppus, an Ickky and a Useless. Every beastie except for a Zipperump-a-Zoo. Mayer creates a world of silly creatures filled with humor for both children as well as adults. My eight year-old son read it and found the tale very engaging. As stated above, he continually referenced that the illustrations, closely resembling those of "Where the Wild Things Are," drew him into the "Professor Wormbog" story even more. This classic collectable is one that should be found on every child's bookshelf! I also think my son found a new favorite book to read!

This re-released edition of the book, available through Fastpencil PREMIERE Publishing's website, http://bit.ly/nyGbjF, is the first of many books which will be published through the "Classic Collectibles" line.

 "Professor Wormbog" can be purchased through the website: 

http://premiere.fastpencil.com/wormbog.

Suggested reading age: 7+

The story can be read to children who are younger than this suggested reading age.

What a Difference a Day Makes

Or, more accurately, what a difference a medication can make over the course of one day!

As I ranted last week about my son continually taking off his medication patch for his ADHD, my HUSBAND (yes, the same one who would NEVER, EVER put his son on ADHD medication!) actually put a call into my son’s ADHD doctor to see if we could switch from using the patch medication to a long-acting oral pill. We were given the same medication that was in the patch, but given by mouth once a day instead.

What a difference a day DOES make!

The first day that my son took the pill, he behaved exactly like our son only toned down a few notches. Even better, I discovered that my son has exhibited less overall anxiety and has been far more in touch with his feelings. Instead of blowing up when his anger became too much to handle, he has been much better able to communicate what he wants or needs in the present moment. I have found that ability in him to be remarkable. And it is all due to a tiny, time-release medication. I thank the Heavens that this med is working for my son and working well. I don’t think my husband would tolerate trials of different medications to see which worked best. I have finally discovered my true Angel, only a little more new and improved!! And I absolutely love it!

My son’s ADHD is genetic on his paternal side. His father has it. His Uncles have it. Even his Grandfather has it. Only one of my son’s Uncles is willing to admit he has ADHD. The rest of the family is in denial. My blog today focuses on parents and how they deal with their children’s diagnoses. ADHD is often genetic. As I mentioned above, my staunchly adamant ADHD husband, who was against giving my son ANY form of ADHD medication, now is convinced that we have a “new and improved” child!

The research is quite intriguing. From what I have both researched and personally experienced, parents come in two distinct categories when it comes to their ADHD children. There are parents I have met who accept that their child has ADHD even if the other parent refuses to accept the diagnosis (such as in my case). The accepting parents try very hard to play an active role and be the very best role model they can be when they are with their child. They try their best to educate themselves and learn to work with their ADHD child rather than against him or her.

On the other hand, there are parents who resemble my husband. These parents refuse to acknowledge that their children have any disorders at all. They are harsh with their children, overly strict, and domineering. A combustible combination if there ever was one. Because ADHD children are commonly very intelligent, they recognize that they are not being treated fairly and power struggles ensue. Relationships with these types of parents either never “jell” or they fail miserably because of the parent’s refusal to look beyond themselves and see who their child really is.

I discovered some interesting facts through my research of how parents relate with and affect their children. There are parents who take classes, look for books or articles to read or join support groups to learn as much as they can about their ADHD child. Also, the parents who are accepting of their child’s ADHD should try to educate themselves not only about the disorder, but also about the different types of ADHD and how it affects their child.

According to an article from the Northern County Psychiatric Associates, ADHD has three basic features:

•  Inattention (distractibility, daydreaming or “spacing out”)

•  Physical hyperactivity (fidgetiness, running about, or “flitting” from one task to another)

•  Impulsivity (acting without thinking and many times later regretting it)

The article states, “Children with combined ADHD involve inattention along with hyperactivity and/or impulsivity. This is a classic ‘boy type’ ADHD. These children can be creative and charming, but may require more of the parent’s time and energy.” My son falls into this category. And as an older Mom, I could have told them that these children definitely require much more time and energy!

I am not the only one in a situation where parents are divided on this issue. As the aforementioned article points out, “Some parents may base their opinions on inaccurate or skewed material. In previous generations, there was more stigma associated with mental illness and behavior disorders. If a parent perceived ADHD as shameful, they didn’t want to think that it could appear in their family.

Very unfortunately, there are parents who constantly yell at their ADHD children. Some parents spank their ADHD children. The article goes on to say, “Parents should take special care to avoid such punishment in ADHD children because it can lead the children to become impulsive. These children might get the message that the use of hitting or violence is a way to resolve conflicts. Gentler methods, even if they take longer, provide the child with a model of how to resolve disagreements.”

Parents must strive to use gentler methods and be a positive role model to their children. This was why it was so challenging to discipline my son last week when he was going through his “rebound effect.” His nerve endings were going through withdrawal. It would not have been fair to my son to punish him when he has absolutely no control over his nerve endings! The best I could do was to try to keep him safe until the medication left his system.

Above all, treating the child with respect elicits lasting respect between parents and their children. This is the foundation in every action you have with your child. Especially an ADD/ADHD child. Respect goes a huge way towards fostering a loving, caring relationship with any child and his or her parents.

“Parents can fill an important psychological role in their children’s development,” the article states. “Children tend to perceive the parent’s acceptance as more unconditional. In many cases, the parent can be a source of advice and comfort. Even during adolescence, a child may try to pull away from their parents but because there is still respect, the teen usually will choose to maintain a closeness to their parents.” This is why it is so imperative that parents be encouraged to learn all they can about ADHD and how it affects their children. The more empowered parents feel, the more proactive they can be.

A little bit of knowledge, at any age, can go a long way towards helping children with ADHD feel loved, accepted and successful. And respect can go a very long way to fulfilling lasting, unconditional relationships between both parents and their children. And one day, should your child require ADHD medication, you might see a miracle buried inside of your wonderful child. Then you will agree and be saying, “Wow! What a difference a day (or a medication) makes!”

Stress Overload

 Stress: a situation, occurrence, or factor causing physical, mental, or

 emotional strain or tension.

- Oxford Dictionary

Ahh stress. I am under so much stress right now, I'm surprised I can write this blog. I am under so much stress, the thought of eating makes me sick. I am under so much stress, that my run down body came down with a cold, my irritable bowels started acting up, I got my period two weeks early, and my face broke out in a huge way. All in less than 24 hours. I would guess that by virtue off all of this happening in such a short period of time, I would suffice to say, I am experiencing stress overload.

I probably should begin with last weekend. My son started on an ADHD medication patch. For the first three days, it worked beautifully on my son. Even his teacher noticed the improvement. Then, all of a sudden, the patch started disappearing. I asked my son if he had taken the patch off, prefacing my question by letting him know that I would not be upset with him at all. I truly just needed to have an estimated time to record. He said he had no idea.

On the same day, I received a court subpoena to appear as a defendant in a court case. I needed this like I needed a whole in my head.

In any event, the next day, the medication patch turned up "missing" again. Concomitantly (and this will have a direct correlation, as you will see), both my son and I had been getting mosquito bites on our legs and arms. I was layering our bodies with calamine lotion. It also happened to be warm last week so shorts and tee-shirts were the attire. My bites were healing with calamine lotion. My son's looked like they were getting more infected. The fact that he was scratching them relentlessly certainly didn't help. I was covering his multitude of bites with antibiotic ointment and bandages. The bites did not seem to be improving, and he had been accumulating more. Now we must jump back to the medication patch.

I could tell when my son took off his patch too early because he displayed a "rebound effect." All of a sudden he was all over the place, uncontrollable, rude, disrespectful, obnoxious...not even nearly what he was like before he started the patch. I called his doctor. Since I get up at 4:30am every day to take one of my own medicines, the doctor and I thought that if I put the patch on my son where he wouldn't know where I placed it, such as between his shoulder blades, we might be able to have my son not even think about the patch, thus not taking it off. This worked for two days until my son caught on to where I put it when I had to take it off. Then he was back to removing them as soon as possible. Now, back to the mosquito bites. (There IS a reason for this bouncing back and forth between topics...).

Thursday night I noticed bug bites on my son's neck, shoulders and right ear. His ear itched him the most. I was able to put calamine lotion on my son's neck and shoulders but didn't feel comfortable putting it on or in his ear. All night long, my son scratched his ear until it was bleeding. In the morning, I cleaned his ear. It looked better and my son said it felt better, so I sent him to school.

Late in the school day, the school nurse called me to explain that my son was again scratching his ear until bleeding, but she also detected a clear fluid coming from somewhere within the ear. She advised that I see my son's doctor as soon as possible. I immediately called my son's doctor but the earliest they could give my son an appointment would be first thing the next morning unless I felt that my son needed to go to the emergency room. I honestly didn't feel that my son needed to go to the emergency room, so I kept gently cleaning my son's ear, despite the fact that my son was still scratching at it. Later that night I noticed a sticky, clear discharge coming from his ear. I was certain it was impetigo. And yes, my son had taken his patch off again at some point during the day.

By the next morning, my son's ear looked ten times worse than the night before. Even his bug bites looked more red and swollen. Marks even showed up on his face. I dutifully put my son's medication patch on and we went to see the doctor. While we were in the waiting room, my son was pacing, stopping every few feet to scratch a bug bite or his ear and eventually the site where I put his patch. I asked if the patch bothered him. He angrily said, "Yes! That's the whole problem! Every day you make me wear that thing, my itching gets worse! I want it to come off!!" I told him that we would have to speak with his doctor before we could do that, knowing full well that the patch was completely unrelated to his bodily itching.

When we first saw the doctor in the examination room, the doctor took one look at my son and said, "I want to admit him into the hospital for IV antibiotics." My son was angrily stating to the doctor that the medication patch was the problem. He explained, logically in his 8 year - old mind, that if the itchy patch were taken off, he would get better. To my son's dismay, the doctor reassured my son that the patch had absolutely nothing to do with the itching on the rest of his body. Very cryptically, the doctor and I discussed the issue of the hospital admission or not. I have a medical background, so we spoke using medical lingo and higher level vocabulary. I essentially said to the doctor that if my son were admitted into the hospital, he would need to be either sedated, restrained, or both because my son would be pulling out his IVs left and right. My son is also deathly afraid of needles, so he would end up being an extremely difficult patient to manage. Based on this, the doctor came up with a more reasonable solution: Give my son oral antibiotics equivalent to what he would get through IV, quarantine him for the entire weekend, wash his sheets with boiling hot water after 2 days on the antibiotics and ear drops, and sanitize my hands after touching my son. He was diagnosed with systemic impetigo, however the doctor was very concerned that this could rapidly turn into MRSA, the "flesh eating" disease.

Okay, now that there was a plan, there were more obstacles. My son gags and vomits when you try to give him pills and he abhors the taste of children's liquid medicines. My son was adamantly refusing to take either the antibiotic pills or liquid. The doctor and I had to lay his options on the line: Either take the meds at home, or go to the hospital and have the med be given through a needle. Decision was made: Home with liquid medicine.

Since my son was extremely contagious and my husband was out of town on business, I waited for a parking spot close to the pharmacy door and had my son stay in the car while I brought the prescriptions into the pharmacy. I dropped them off and went to go check on my son in the car. Outside of the pharmacy, but within site of my car, I called my husband to tell him what was happening. He was going to arrange a change in his flight back home, but called me back and said that one of the men he was meeting with had his own private jet, so the private jet would fly my husband home immediately (Rough life my husband has. Wait until I get to HIS part of this never ending story). 

I finally get the medicines for my son, go home, but my son won't take the med. I even tasted it and it tasted vile. Since it had a hint of orange flavor, I tried adding a bit of milk hoping it would taste like a creamsicle. No such luck. And this kid had to take this medicine three times a day. I reiterated that the only other option was the hospital. I barely got a half dose of med in him. And he took his medication patch off again. So now I have a VERY sick kid, literally (and I do mean literally) scaling the doorway to the top to touch the ceiling because he is going through a rebound effect, and is practically uncontrollable. (Are you exhausted yet by just reading this? I promise to summarize and spare you any further exhaustion).

My husband came home and got a pill form of the oral med to try to get my son to take. He tolerated it, although my son continued to fly off of my bed, onto his beanbag, scale the doorway, was insolent and uncooperative. I had to just keep that in mind that all of this behavior was because of the rebound effect. I couldn’t strictly punish my son because his brain chemicals were imbalanced. A call went in to my son's ADHD doctor. Here is the icing on the cake...

I was terribly behind in checking my e-mail. I tried to go through some of it and what did I find? A forwarded letter from my lawyer that stating that my husband is counter-suing me for divorce with full custody of my son with...get this one...visitation only outside of my home!!!

NOW can you say stress overload??

At the very end of the day, one of my son’s toys broke and he had a complete and total breakdown. His hysterical crying was not simply due to the broken toy. For an hour, I huddled behind him on the carpet as he was clutching my arm tightly around him. He sobbed, ranted and raved about things that occurred to him TWO YEARS ago! This poor child had been bottling up two years worth of frustration and anger that I never knew of. He was experiencing his own stress overload and it needed to be released.

As close as I am to my son and as comfortable as he is coming to me with things that bother him, I am going to take extra time to try to dig a little deeper and find out if there are issues that are worrying him, that he might have temporarily forgotten about. I want him to know that I care about everything that goes on in his life. Even the fact that he got a locker last year that never fully shut and it frustrated him. As parents, we forget that children are at risk of stress overload too. We need to be there for and be mindful that our children experience stress also. Stress is not limited to adults with mature minds and full plates. Little minds experience stress in different ways and often cannot express it. It is up to us, as parents, to keep a tab on issues that are affecting our children and help them sort out their problems or just lend an ear.

Communication is going to be a lot different from now on with my son. I am going to be much more mindful and reach out to him more frequently. No one should have to lie on the floor spewing frustration from two years past. Especially not a child.

Hallmark Really Cares

Back in December, Hallmark started marketing their line of Recordable Storybooks. What made them particularly enticing was that they were similar to recordable cards. The recordable books, however, went a step further. They allow you to stop recording, if necessary, make corrections, and speak at your own pace. Perfectly modifiable!

My son gave me one of the Hallmark Recordable Storybooks for the Holidays. What made this book extremely special to me is that my son has a learning disability which makes it particularly difficult for him to read. With my husband's guidance and my son's practice, I was able to hear my son read me the recordable book, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," almost flawlessly! Tears were welling up in my eyes as I heard my son's sweet voice! I was overjoyed hearing him read an entire book cover to cover!  This very special book will be treasured for the rest of my life.

I wanted to reciprocate to my son, not only what the recordable book represented, but obtain a book that would convey the special bond my son and I share. I started looking in every Hallmark store I knew of to find one of two recordable books as a special birthday present. To my absolute dismay, I couldn't find either of the books I wanted at any of my local Hallmark stores. My heart was very heavy.

My son's birthday was in August, ironically falling on the same day as the BlogHer '11 Conference. He was going to be away during the weekend of his birthday, so I took the opportunity to go to the BlogHer '11 Conference that weekend. During the Expo part of the conference, I spotted a Hallmark booth. It was the very end of the day. I approached one of the sweet Hallmark representatives and begged her for information as to how I could purchase one of the recordable books I wanted. She told me she would send me the book that I had been so desperately looking for and had me write down my address. I promised I would write a blog review about the book as a thank you for her very kind gesture.

Once I returned home, I was contacted by a different Hallmark representative asking me if I would mind doing a blog review on some of their Back-to-School products. I gladly acknowledged that I would be happy to, especially knowing that the first representative was sending me the recordable book I wanted so badly.

Within a week's time, I received not only the special recordable book I requested from the first rep, I also received a package from the second rep with an amazing surprise inside. As I opened the top of the box, I saw what looked like a recordable book along with several other items. I held my breath as I slid the book out of the box. To my absolute astonishment, there in front of me was the other recordable book I had been looking for! I just couldn't have been happier! I had received the very two books that I so wanted to record for my son! To make it even more exciting, I received sample cards from the new Hallmark Kids Collection that I could fill out for my son's first day of school and an adorable booklet of messages that I could tear out and put into my son's lunch tote!

I recorded the "All the Ways I Love You" book before my son went away on vacation with my husband for a week. My son looked at me with mouth agape as he listened to my voice, and turned each page! He then said to me, "How did you get a book like mine?" (He was referring to the "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" recordable book). I told him that Mommies sometimes have magic powers! (And wonderful Hallmark representatives!).

A couple weeks later, I recorded the second book. The night before my son had his first day of school, I presented him with the "Guess How Much I Love You," recordable book. Again, my son was enthralled! I had read the actual book to my son dozens of times. But hearing my voice as he turned each page added a completely different dimension to it. Here I was, sitting next to him, but silent, except for my voice coming from the book. Both books are displayed on my son's dresser, as his is displayed on mine.

The Hallmark Recordable Storybooks are great if you are a parent who travels. Your children will be able to hear your voice, even when you are away. Additionally, these books will provide an opportunity to help develop reading skills. Most of all, they provide bonding time with your children whether you are next to them or far away.

Once my son was asleep, I packed the unrefrigerated parts of his lunch and included a lunch message from the booklet, "Lunch Notes for Kids." There are 50 notes in the booklet. I chose one that said, "I'm hugging you in my heart right now. I know, I know...I'm squishing you. I'll let go in a minute." Using these adorable notes will surprise your child with a serving of love and pride. The unexpected "I love you" or "good luck" will let your child know you're by their side even after they get on the school bus.

When my son came home from his first day of school, I presented him with a card from the Hallmark Kids Collection of cards. The cards address topics for both young and older children. These include messages that provide positive reinforcement, hard work achievements as well as topics for tweens/teens which focus on peer pressure and choosing friends wisely. The card that I chose to give my son said, "If I could hug you every time I think of you..." on the outside, and "you'd be smooshed!" on the inside. He gave me a big grin as I hugged him until he was "smooshed!"

The Kids Collection of cards can either be snuck into a notebook or backpack as a surprise for your child to open during the day. Or, if your child might get embarrassed like mine, but loves getting mail, they can have a card waiting for them in the mailbox at the end of the day.

With backpacks bulging with new notebooks, pencils and glue, kids sometimes need more than school supplies to face the exciting and challenging situations the upcoming year holds. This is why Hallmark created it's Back-to-School line. When you are helping your child get off to a good start with the new school year, don't forget to throw in a little encouragement and confidence from Hallmark! You know your child will be getting the very best from you!

I would like to thank the fabulous Hallmark representatives for providing me with these wonderful Hallmark products to use and review. I am truly appreciative!

Just Me and My Guy

A beautiful ocean breeze is blowing by me while my son is making the "world's largest sandcastle" with a little boy he befriended. We have had impeccable weather since we have been here; Five days so far. Under ordinary circumstances, this would be sublime.

My son and I are at a ridiculously overpriced beachfront hotel, with suboptimal service (I am the Hotel Snob, you know). Our house has been without power, food, and hot water for almost a week now, since Hurricane Irene passed by. My son couldn't take the pitch black nights with no air conditioning or fans and no refrigerated food. I made a call to a beachfront resort that I had tried to make reservations with a month ago. At that time they were booked solid. I called the day after the hurricane passed and wouldn't you know it! I had my choice of any room I wanted because so many guests had cancelled! I planned to stay for just a few days since I predicted we would have power back within that time. No such luck. I extended our stay throughout the Labor Day weekend.

This unplanned excursion, although bordering on necessary, has really been a treat for both my son and me. Neither of us had been to the beach all summer. My son adores the beach and wallows in the sand. I know I can take him anywhere and he will make friends...even a beach chair, if necessary! His BFF and mine came to visit us one of the days we were here. That day went too quickly for us. Since then, my son has befriended a boy who is here with his Mom and siblings because they lost power also. The boys have been practically inseparable.

My only frustration has been the fact that some cell towers around here have been inactive, due to the storm. My only means of communication has been through texting. I'm not sure if I like embracing my limited means of communication or not. On the one hand, I have to use my computer sparingly. Getting and receiving cell phone calls is practically impossible. If the wind blows the right way, I can post on FaceBook or upload a photo of my son on the beach. All in all, though, I'm getting used to the spotty connections and limitations to the outside world.

The best part of this trip has been the bonding I have had with my son. We are "together" 24/7. He is off with his friend while on the beach, but we are together at all other times. We lie in bed, exhausted at the end of the day. He watches some TV while I read or type this blog. We order in room service because I arranged to get meal vouchers. All I have to pay for is the delivery fee. Basically, we do what we want, when we want, with no set schedule at all. It's perfect!

We also play on the beach together. When my son's friend has somewhere else to go, we fly our kite, dig in the sand, and walk on the beach collecting treasures. I get cold easily, so I stay at the water's edge and take photos of my son as he navigates the wild post-hurricane current with his boogie board! We even became friendly with a very nice lifeguard who took my son out into the ocean to help him learn to swim in ocean water. I have complete confidence when my son is in a pool or still water. But ocean water is always unpredictable. I want him to feel the unpredictability and learn how to navigate through it. He is strong and sure of himself. I have no reason to believe he won't be able to be completely comfortable and respectful of the ocean. He wants to learn to surf one day. One needs to be totally at ease but mindful to take on a sport such as that.  

This week has been an unexpected joy! My blogs, however, seem to depict an oxymoron! Last week I was swooning over my extended "alone time." Now I am swooning over time spent together with my son. I guess this shows me that there really is no balance to parenting if you have one but not the other. I also believe that because we are just doing our own thing, without any set schedules, it makes this time together even more enjoyable. I am almost disappointed for us both that school begins in a few days. We'll be back to "routine." Everyone needs routine in their lives to some extent. Some more than others. But I am loving this simple time with just my son. His sweet endearments towards me. My unbridled love for him. Just the two of us. Just me and my guy.