For All the Great Teachers

My son’s teacher called this past week. The news was not too good. It appears that she has been having “quite a lot of difficulty” focusing my son and getting him to be attentive. In fact, his teacher had to fill out a questionnaire regarding my son’s behavior and academic performance and submit it to his ADD doctor. When we went to see his ADD doctor, the doctor informed us that my son’s teacher wrote “a scathing, hastily done, inconsistent” form. Based on the conversation I had with his teacher, I can just imagine what she wrote! From our conversation, it was quite apparent that she would love for our son to be placed in a different classroom! Yesterday!

The doctor was perplexed. Nothing in my son’s chart would indicate such a terrible report. And all reports from other professionals who have worked with my son indicate that, yes he does get antsy, and yes, he does need some refocusing. But the doctor feels that this sounds like a classic case of the wrong educator-student “fit.” We are in the process of getting reports from other professionals who deal with my son on a regular basis, such as his tutor and religious school teacher, to find out if my son’s grade school teacher’s report was an anomaly, or whether there truly is reason for concern. The professional consensus is that my son’s teacher either doesn’t want to bother refocusing him or redirecting him, or doesn’t have the proper skills to work with him. The school psychologist is going to spend quite a bit of time fleshing this out.

In the meantime, I would like to thank and honor ALL teachers, (yes, even my son’s), because it is truly a sacrifice to give of yourself to educate young minds. It is NOT an easy job. However there are those teachers who go just a bit above and beyond. Ones who take the time to reword a question for a child, or explain a topic in a slightly different way, to see that, “AaHa!” sparkle in a young one’s eyes! So below, is my own “Gratitude List” to all teachers who strive that extra little bit, and work a little harder, to see that each of their student’s succeeds.

I am grateful for teachers who recognize that certain children can have above average cognition, yet be stifled by faulty neurochemistry.

I am grateful for teachers who recognize that some children need to move around more than others. And these teachers nominate those restless kids to be the “go to” students. As an example, I have a friend who teaches Fifth Grade. One of her students needs breaks so that he can walk around periodically and stretch his legs. She refers to him as her “go to” student because if she needs something picked up from the Main Office, she will ask this young man to “go to” the office and pick up what is needed. Or she will ask him to help her distribute handouts to the class. She recognizes that he has a need to move and she respects that need with simple ways to incorporate his needs with her own.

I am grateful for all of the hard work Special Education teachers have to do. They need to have a whole basket full of skills to pull from to work with some of their students  successfully. Every child is unique and has their individual needs. I am grateful that there are teachers who choose to work in this area so that these children not only get the specialized attention that they need, but mostly they get it from teachers who truly care.

I am grateful for the ancillary professionals who work in schools. My best friend is an Occupational Therapist who works with Special Ed children in their schools. I am always amazed and envious at how easily she can deal with my son when I just want to tear my hair out at times. She has a unique way of relating to children who have special needs. I am so grateful that there are not only OTs but also Speech and Language Pathologists and special reading and math teachers who know how to “connect” with a certain child while watching them improve right before their eyes!

I am grateful for teachers who are flexible when they need to be, yet structured when a situation calls for it.

I am grateful for those teachers who call parents at home, having 30-minute conversations as to how to get through to your child. And I give them bonus points for calling on the weekends!

I am grateful to those teachers who may have to tailor certain homework assignments so that they still get completed, yet maybe a day or two later. And it’s okay with them.

I am grateful for teachers who allow bathroom and water fountain breaks. At the beginning of the year, my son’s teacher wanted every student to bring in a refillable water bottle so that they wouldn’t need “water fountain breaks.” My son needs water fountain breaks. I have yet to send in a refillable water bottle.

I am grateful when teachers make a big deal out of something that could be considered minor, yet the teacher knows it’s a big deal to that child, and lets the child know it!

I am grateful to almost every teacher I know who stays late to help a child, spends their “free time” gathering class supplies, and grading papers. I honestly think my son’s homework is either graded by an older student volunteer or one of her own kids, because the corrections look like young handwriting, not the teacher’s mature script.

And finally, I am grateful that there are so many terrific teachers who all want to make a difference in all young lives. Even if the children struggle, the teacher, in his or her heart, wants to see that child succeed!

So there is my list. I’m sure I am missing many other wonderful things that teachers do.

And feel free to include them in the comments! But these are the ones that are particularly important to me. I felt that for this month of giving “Thanks,” that I wouldn’t dwell on what my son is not getting, but to acknowledge what he and many other children are getting.

Working with a child who has educational challenges is not easy nor is it fun. As a parent of one of these types of children, I can attest to that. And when you have an educator who you know is capable of meeting your child’s needs and actively works with him to become successful, half your day is one huge relief!

What will happen with my son? No one is sure right now. It will probably take at least until January to sort everything out. Until then, I am his advocate and I will make certain that he is getting the respect and treatment he deserves. That’s what Mothers do. Stay tuned.

Over Scheduled...Mom?

 We’ve all heard stories and read articles about children being over scheduled with all types of after school activities. And there have been a scattering of articles about parents whom are burdened by their children’s schedules. Lately, I have found myself falling into that trap, even though I always promised myself that I would never over schedule my child. It would be an unnecessary burden on my son as well as myself. Until now.

My son has been going to religious school since Kindergarten (he is now in second grade) and really enjoys going. There are more than a handful of students from his elementary school that he knows in this class. And at this point, it is rather low-pressure religious learning. So, we take him to that after school activity once a week.

Then, because my son has Auditory Processing Disorder, which compromises his reading and writing abilities, we have a tutor come one day after school. My son spends 45 minutes with the Tutor and gets weekly assignments to complete.

Following that is Karate, which my son LOVES and happens to be quite good at. In fact the Karate school advanced him to a more vigorous program, requiring him to go to class a MINIMUM of one weekday as well as once on the weekend! Incidentally, all of the professionals, from his ADD specialist all the way down to his Primary Care Physician, feel that if my son enjoys Karate, it is a perfect sport for him to excel at with regard to his ADD.

Finally, there is swimming. Another sport my son LOVES, only this class happens to be on Sundays. My son was meant to be in water. He thrives in water. To the point of doing forward, aerial flips off of the diving board! And again, as Michael Phipps will tell you, swimming was his way of managing his own ADHD. Maybe it is my son’s, as well.

So here I am, with all of these important, but certainly not necessary (except for tutoring) activities my son is involved in. And we haven’t even discussed how play dates fit in with all of this! Is my son over scheduled? Am I over scheduled? I certainly know that at this moment in time I am, given that I have an antibiotic resistant germ in me that is wearing me quite thin. Going on 4 weeks now. But what about my son?

Most parenting experts will tell you that the most extracurricular activities a grade school child needs is 1 or 2 activities a week. In my experience, my son needs daily physical exercise of at least an hour a day or  else he will be literally climbing the walls. So perhaps all of these extracurricular activities are good for him.

My husband and I have worked out a schedule, which more or less divides which parent takes my son to certain activities on specific days. But then you have to add homework into the mix. My son can barely manage the load of second grade work during his second week of school. I contacted my son’s teacher regarding the issue of homework. I also plan to make an appointment with the school Psychologist. Other than that, I am at a loss as to what to do.

If my son's schedule cannot be modified, I think I am going to ask my son’s teacher whether my son can do some of the homework over the weekends. It would ease the burden on everyone and allow my son the ability to participate in the extracurricular activities that are good for him, while extending his homework load across 7 days rather than 5.

As for me? I’ll still be over scheduled. But I will either enlist help to manage either dropping my son off at certain activities or miss them entirely if I feel his schedule is getting out of hand. I guess you’ll just have to continue to call me, the “Over scheduled Mom.” Stay tuned.

School Already???

That was the phrase uttered by my son just the other day. I have to admit, the summer has certainly flown by. With the exception of a planned vacation, much of the summer has just whisked its way through many hot summer days.

I don’t think I was able to see my friends as often as I planned. I did spend more quality time with my son. But except for a few cute movies and an exciting theatre excursion, we really didn’t take advantage of the summer activities as we usually do.

I think much of it had to do with the almost endless clean up from the tornado that hit our town at the beginning of June. There were weeks and weeks of clean up going on in local parks and pools. That certainly put a damper on our outdoor activities.

Daily day camp occupied my son who almost always came home exhausted. And we had a reading tutor come after camp twice a week. With almost daily homework given. Except for the endless laundry, summer really hasn’t felt like...summer.

We didn’t use our outdoor grill even once this year (I plan to rectify that next year!) Except on his camping trip with his Dad, my son didn’t have the energy or time to even catch fireflies, as we did together last summer. There were very few gatherings or get-togethers with even just my friends.

And now school is back in session. By the time this blog is posted, my son will have completed his first day of Second Grade! I am as excited for him as he is. But also wary. With higher-grade levels bring larger homework loads. I wonder whether my son can deal with the greater workload. Or will I be writing many explanatory letters.

My son will be heading into school with a long list of modifications already outlined by the professionals who follow him. But will he need more? Will the school provide him more?

The one relief I have, that I blogged about last year, is that the PTA came up with an interesting fundraising idea this year, to help out overburdened parents (such as myself!). The PTA sent out  flyers at the end of the school year, last year, offering to have every single item your child’s new teacher requested, for the new school year, available for a reasonable fee! All the way down to 24 sharpened pencils! Heck, it is worth a few dollars just to have someone else sharpen 24 pencils for me! Each child would be presented with their own, boxed supplies (almost like a gift!), presented to them on the first day of school! No dragging of heavy items into school the first day. No misplaced pencil cases, erasers, notebooks. Everything is right there waiting for each particular child whose parents chose to utilize this service.

As I was walking through Staples last week, I saw several frantic Moms, with trails of their children, holding pieces of paper with their school supply lists. The Moms were blowing hair out of their eyes while their children complained in unison that either the items Staples had were not the right brand, too large, to small, or just plain sold out. As I quietly picked out the proper ink cartridge for my printer, I just stood there and smiled. No sharpening of 24 pencils for me this year! I have plenty of other things to do!