I am typing this on my computer, by flashlight, with a battery-operated fan at my side to cool me off. Why? Because yesterday, my neighborhood was hit by a verified tornado.
I live in the suburbs of Long Island, right outside of New York City. This is not tornado country. Yes, an actual hurricane has actually passed us by a couple of times. And Nor’easters and blizzards are not uncommon. But tornado - never. And based on the devastation this tiny tornado has left, I am not very eager to move to REAL tornado country. We have no electricity and were told that it will take close to a week to get the power lines up and running again. I am not exaggerating when I say that there is a tree or tree limb on top of every neighbor’s house around me, including ours. Only a scant few streets are passable due to downed telephone poles and draping electric cables all over the streets and properties. Large trees have been uprooted by their bases and are lying either across streets, the owner’s property, or worse, on top of or inside of their homes. I have never witnessed anything like this before in my life. And, more amazingly, I summoned it.
As many of you are aware, my husband and I are not legally separated, but we are living in two separate areas of our house, along with our son. For our son’s sake, my husband and I have been getting along fairly amicably. I find this mind-boggling since I continually unearth reason to resent or dislike my spouse more and more as time goes by.
Both my husband and I want full custody of our son. And each of our lawyers advised us that if either one of us were to live outside of our present home, it would be legally considered “abandonment”, and the one who left would forfeit their “right” to be considered our son’s primary custodian. Thus, our absurd living situation.
Yesterday, about 15 minutes before the weather erupted, my husband came to me first to discuss how great we are as parents to our son, especially given the situation we are in. He then asked, again, for us to become officially, legally separated. The last time he asked was about 6 months ago, and when I asked him why, his response was, “I don’t know.” So this time, again I asked why, and I got the same response of “I don’t know. I just think it would be better for us.” It was at that moment that I felt like I summoned the wrath from the heavens.
I lashed out at my husband like I’ve never done to any other person in my lifetime! And as my anger mounted, the winds outside started howling. And as I cursed and screamed, torrential rains poured out of the sky. As my wrath grew, and I verbally lambasted my husband, large balls of hail fell from the sky. And as I ranted and raved, I heard trees splitting in half! I believe in God. And I personally felt as if God was physically relaying the extent of my fury towards my husband! I also felt as if God was physically giving me the power to tell my husband how I REALLY felt about what he is doing to our family and me. But once I heard our upstairs windows, which crank outward, start to rattle, I screamed that the sight of my husband was making me physically sick, and I raced upstairs to lock the windows so that the intense winds would not take the windows off of our house.
Once the tornado passed, I went outside to survey the damage. I was shocked and speechless to find that every house around ours had some type of damage, some of it severe. Our house had absolutely no damage whatsoever. All we had was a small bough from a tree on our roof. The neighbor’s backyard to our left had so many downed trees and debris; you could not see one blade of grass. Our neighbor to our right had a tree fall and split their beautiful, wooden deck right in half. My neighbor across the street had one of her trees literally rip her electric wires off her house, knock down a telephone pole, and fall, lengthwise, across the street, landing on a different neighbor’s car. Yet our home and property was virtually untouched.
This led me to believe that not only is there a higher power in this universe, this higher power is truly there for me. Yes, there was a tremendous amount of physical damage to our neighborhood, but there hasn’t been, amazingly, any reports of injuries or deaths from this storm. This storm, in my opinion, was meant to prove to my husband the extent of my wrath towards him. And it gave me the power to fight against him, and come out virtually unscathed, just like our house. I even texted him and said, “If you think this force of nature was bad, don’t even THINK of messing with me. My wrath will be far worse than what you physically see.”
Anyone who knows me will tell you that I have one of the gentlest dispositions of any other person they know. I will and have gone out of my way to assist others and help whoever is in need of anything. But purposely try to hurt me for no reason, or hurt my son, and I will become a tornado. And I can also summon the wrath from the heavens to prove it.
Wednesday, June 30, 2010
Wednesday, June 23, 2010
The Dos and Don’ts of Day Camp
As a veteran of two different Day Camps my son attended over the past two years, I would like to pass along some important information for those parents whose young children will be attending Day Camp for the first time. Here are some of my tips and hints:
1. If your child needs to wear a Camp Shirt with the camp’s logo on it, beg, borrow, buy or be lucky, like me, and accumulate shirts whose parents forgot to put the name inside. I was given one shirt initially, and by the end of the season accumulated six in larger sizes! That one shirt that they provide will otherwise have to be washed daily. Trust me on that one.
2. Speaking of clothing, label, label, label every item of your children’s clothes! Unless you don’t care if it never returns! I have had other children’s underwear and socks come home that I never saw before. Label those too! Even label shoes! My son came home barefoot once because he lost his shoes and couldn’t find them. EVERYTHING has to get labeled!
3. Now as for labeling. One other important item to label are towels. In fact, even if those are labeled, they may never return. I went online this past winter, found beach towels on sale that could be monogrammed and had five of them embroidered with the boldest color they would allow! If you have a supply of old towels that you don’t care never come home, that’s fine too. But I became tired of trying to track down missing towels or sending in other towels that I knew would be lost. And as an aside, some camps have the children use the towels to sit on during the day. Which means laundering towels every day as well. That’s why I now have five. And if your child goes to a camp that requires more than one towel per day, accumulate more!
4. Next is swim attire. Some camps have swim/sprinkler activities twice a day. This, of course, would entail sending in two swim suits per day. Again, stock up on swimsuits that are on sale. I have no less than 10-15 at any given time. And some camps require enclosed swim shoes while others don’t. Always buy an extra pair.
5. Now comes lunch. My son’s camp provides lunch selections, both cold and hot, for an additional cost. Packing a lunch is more economical. But beware of sending foods that have containers that are difficult to maneuver or may leak. I had to throw out a perfectly good lunch tote because my son didn’t eat all of the watermelon I packed for him, forgot to seal up the container, and the tote had to be thrown out because it smelled and was soaked from rotting watermelon. Good thing I have, again, monogrammed, extra lunch totes. And, once again, label, label, label, every container, sandwich bag, bottle of juice or water, snack bag or beverage container. We lost two expensive and environmentally friendly Jr. Sigg
bottles because the “permanent ink” came off while washing them. Make sure everything has your child’s name on it!! And STAYS on it!!
6. Sunscreen is a must. But even if applied at home, your child will need to reapply it while at camp. Even with a label, it will get lost or forgotten somewhere. Label all sunscreens and buy multiples when they are on sale. You will be going through quite a few.
7. Always check the camp schedule for upcoming events. I forgot to send in a clean, white shirt for tie-dye day...twice! And missed red and blue day completely. These things may not matter to you, but when you pick up your child from camp with a sullen look on their face, you’ll know right then and there, you messed up. We hang our schedule on a special kitchen cabinet so that we absolutely can’t miss it. Try to find a suitable place for yours.
8. Finally, as imperative as all of this must sound, try to just go with the flow of camp mishaps and oddities. There will be many. I learned through experience, and so will you. I simply wanted those who have yet to be “initiated” into the camp experience to know what might be waiting for them when they open their child’s backpack. Oh, and one last thing. Use the grungy backpack your child hauled to school every day from this past school year. By the end of camp, your child will be ready for a brand new one to start out the brand new school year!
Hope some of these tips may have helped! Happy camping with your little Day Campers!
1. If your child needs to wear a Camp Shirt with the camp’s logo on it, beg, borrow, buy or be lucky, like me, and accumulate shirts whose parents forgot to put the name inside. I was given one shirt initially, and by the end of the season accumulated six in larger sizes! That one shirt that they provide will otherwise have to be washed daily. Trust me on that one.
2. Speaking of clothing, label, label, label every item of your children’s clothes! Unless you don’t care if it never returns! I have had other children’s underwear and socks come home that I never saw before. Label those too! Even label shoes! My son came home barefoot once because he lost his shoes and couldn’t find them. EVERYTHING has to get labeled!
3. Now as for labeling. One other important item to label are towels. In fact, even if those are labeled, they may never return. I went online this past winter, found beach towels on sale that could be monogrammed and had five of them embroidered with the boldest color they would allow! If you have a supply of old towels that you don’t care never come home, that’s fine too. But I became tired of trying to track down missing towels or sending in other towels that I knew would be lost. And as an aside, some camps have the children use the towels to sit on during the day. Which means laundering towels every day as well. That’s why I now have five. And if your child goes to a camp that requires more than one towel per day, accumulate more!
4. Next is swim attire. Some camps have swim/sprinkler activities twice a day. This, of course, would entail sending in two swim suits per day. Again, stock up on swimsuits that are on sale. I have no less than 10-15 at any given time. And some camps require enclosed swim shoes while others don’t. Always buy an extra pair.
5. Now comes lunch. My son’s camp provides lunch selections, both cold and hot, for an additional cost. Packing a lunch is more economical. But beware of sending foods that have containers that are difficult to maneuver or may leak. I had to throw out a perfectly good lunch tote because my son didn’t eat all of the watermelon I packed for him, forgot to seal up the container, and the tote had to be thrown out because it smelled and was soaked from rotting watermelon. Good thing I have, again, monogrammed, extra lunch totes. And, once again, label, label, label, every container, sandwich bag, bottle of juice or water, snack bag or beverage container. We lost two expensive and environmentally friendly Jr. Sigg
bottles because the “permanent ink” came off while washing them. Make sure everything has your child’s name on it!! And STAYS on it!!
6. Sunscreen is a must. But even if applied at home, your child will need to reapply it while at camp. Even with a label, it will get lost or forgotten somewhere. Label all sunscreens and buy multiples when they are on sale. You will be going through quite a few.
7. Always check the camp schedule for upcoming events. I forgot to send in a clean, white shirt for tie-dye day...twice! And missed red and blue day completely. These things may not matter to you, but when you pick up your child from camp with a sullen look on their face, you’ll know right then and there, you messed up. We hang our schedule on a special kitchen cabinet so that we absolutely can’t miss it. Try to find a suitable place for yours.
8. Finally, as imperative as all of this must sound, try to just go with the flow of camp mishaps and oddities. There will be many. I learned through experience, and so will you. I simply wanted those who have yet to be “initiated” into the camp experience to know what might be waiting for them when they open their child’s backpack. Oh, and one last thing. Use the grungy backpack your child hauled to school every day from this past school year. By the end of camp, your child will be ready for a brand new one to start out the brand new school year!
Hope some of these tips may have helped! Happy camping with your little Day Campers!
Wednesday, June 9, 2010
Through the Generations
My son has been learning about the value of coins in school. To help him with his homework, I took out a basket of coins we use to throw our spare change into, and started laying the coins out to show a visual description to assist with one of the homework problems.
All of a sudden, my son noticed something interesting. He found a Wheat back penny among this basket of coins! For those of you who are unfamiliar with Wheat back pennies, instead of a picture of the Lincoln Memorial on the back, the words, “One Cent,” are inscribed.
I found this remarkable for several reasons. First being that Wheat back pennies are so rare (they were minted only for 50 years, between 1909 - 1959), secondly because I started my own collection of Wheat back pennies when I was around my son’s age (I must have close to 50 of them by now). Thirdly, because now my son wants to start his own Wheat back collection.
The fourth interesting reason is that my son spotted a bag of pre-started coin rolls and wanted to use them to roll the coins. When my father was still alive, I would give him our basket of loose change and the paper coin rolls, and he would spend enormous amounts of time putting the change into the respective rolls. He would then take the rolls to the bank and cash them in for me. He always took such pride in what he did and felt a sense of accomplishment in rolling those coins for me!
Now that my father is gone, I find it fascinating that my son wants to assume that same exact activity. As tedious as it is, both my father and son get a sense of accomplishment from rolling coins. We told our son that if he lays out the correct number of coins to fill a roll, correctly identifies the value of the coin roll, and then fills it, my husband would take him to the bank to “earn” his keep. It is a motivating learning experience.
But I have noticed this about my son; he has my father’s quality of enjoying working on tedious projects. I used to give my father all sorts of projects I just found too tedious to take on, and he would gladly do them all! The one I miss the most is ironing! My father used to iron our clothes because between a toddler and 2 rambunctious dogs, I didn’t want to risk having the iron accidentally pulled off the ironing board and scorching someone. So I would happily give all of my ironing to my father to do! I’ve become so spoiled, that now it’s become, “dry clean only,” in this house. And I rarely buy 100% cotton!
But back to my son and his new obsession. I find it fascinating that my son has not only taken an interest in something that I also have an interest in. I find it equally amazing that he has also embraced the “joy” of rolling coins, just as my father had. I continually find it amazing how you see not only yourself in your child, but can also see close relatives, with all of their “quirks,” in your child. How remarkable. And what a gift. And now my son has 2 Wheat back pennies to start his own collection! Such an unexpected treat!
All of a sudden, my son noticed something interesting. He found a Wheat back penny among this basket of coins! For those of you who are unfamiliar with Wheat back pennies, instead of a picture of the Lincoln Memorial on the back, the words, “One Cent,” are inscribed.
I found this remarkable for several reasons. First being that Wheat back pennies are so rare (they were minted only for 50 years, between 1909 - 1959), secondly because I started my own collection of Wheat back pennies when I was around my son’s age (I must have close to 50 of them by now). Thirdly, because now my son wants to start his own Wheat back collection.
The fourth interesting reason is that my son spotted a bag of pre-started coin rolls and wanted to use them to roll the coins. When my father was still alive, I would give him our basket of loose change and the paper coin rolls, and he would spend enormous amounts of time putting the change into the respective rolls. He would then take the rolls to the bank and cash them in for me. He always took such pride in what he did and felt a sense of accomplishment in rolling those coins for me!
Now that my father is gone, I find it fascinating that my son wants to assume that same exact activity. As tedious as it is, both my father and son get a sense of accomplishment from rolling coins. We told our son that if he lays out the correct number of coins to fill a roll, correctly identifies the value of the coin roll, and then fills it, my husband would take him to the bank to “earn” his keep. It is a motivating learning experience.
But I have noticed this about my son; he has my father’s quality of enjoying working on tedious projects. I used to give my father all sorts of projects I just found too tedious to take on, and he would gladly do them all! The one I miss the most is ironing! My father used to iron our clothes because between a toddler and 2 rambunctious dogs, I didn’t want to risk having the iron accidentally pulled off the ironing board and scorching someone. So I would happily give all of my ironing to my father to do! I’ve become so spoiled, that now it’s become, “dry clean only,” in this house. And I rarely buy 100% cotton!
But back to my son and his new obsession. I find it fascinating that my son has not only taken an interest in something that I also have an interest in. I find it equally amazing that he has also embraced the “joy” of rolling coins, just as my father had. I continually find it amazing how you see not only yourself in your child, but can also see close relatives, with all of their “quirks,” in your child. How remarkable. And what a gift. And now my son has 2 Wheat back pennies to start his own collection! Such an unexpected treat!
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
My Happiness Project - by Cara
For those of you who missed reading my blog from last week, I discussed how my fifteenth wedding anniversary was coming up on Memorial Day Weekend. The issue, though, was that my husband and I are newly separated. I knew that if I were to stay at home, I would be crying and grieving the entire weekend. I decided that the best thing I could do was to get away to a place that would distract and enthrall me enough to try to “forget” that it even was my anniversary. Here I chronicle what I term, my own Happiness Project.
I made the decision to go to the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas. I had been there for short stays twice before. I adored everything about this resort! From it’s many pools and water activities, to an expansive underground aquarium, to rock climbing! I loved it all!!
I arrived at the hotel at approximately 6 pm and after dropping my things off in my room, I headed for the outdoor bar for a large tropical drink! It relaxed me and set the tone for the rest of my stay! I perused the hotel, the choice of activities offered, walked to a nearby shopping area, and essentially just took in the gorgeous surroundings! Although there were may options to partake of, including a Sheryl Crow concert at the hotel, I simply just wandered around, collected brochures and mulled through them once I returned to my room.
I couldn’t have asked for a nicer location as hotel rooms go (remember, I AM the Hotel Snob - see Archives under same title). I had a room at the end of the hallway, away from elevators, traffic, maintenance rooms, but most importantly, right next to the beach and ocean! The sound of the ocean washing onto the shore was so relaxing, I left my sliding door open all night, every night!! I loved falling asleep to the sound of the rolling waves!
When I woke up the following day, I decided not to sign up for any specific activities, except for the Sheryl Crow concert, so that I could lounge and relax. I found a sparkling pool that had cutouts in rock, lining the pool. Through those oblong cutouts, you could see portions of the aquarium that ran behind it! It was so amazing! I went to get my phone, praying I wouldn’t drop it in the water, and took photos of these aquarium cutouts! Later on, I uploaded them to friends as my computer had internet service, but my phone didn’t.
When some clouds started wandering by, I decided to head back to shower and change. Once clean and happy, I ventured to the excursion desk to see if I could plan an activity or two for the following day. When I visited the hotel last year, I swam with dolphins. This time around, I decided to try swimming with sea lions! I went to book my adventure, but was told it was sold out for the whole next day. And I would be leaving the day after that. A lovely lady who worked at the excursion desk suggested that I go on a sea lion adventure that was offsite, but close by. She suggested I come down at 9 am the next morning to make sure I got a slot in the schedule.
The next day, I ran down, in my pajamas no less, to the excursion desk. The lovely lady who was there the day before was working again that day and remembered me from the night before. She first tried calling the sea lion tour that was offsite, but did not get an answer. On a whim, she tried calling over to the hotel’s sea lion facility and explained that I really wanted to go on the sea lion excursion, that I was only one person, and could they possibly squeeze me in that day...and they did!! It was the last excursion of the day, but that lovely lady got me in to swim with sea lions!! I was so excited, I hugged her! I then went back to my room to see how I would fill up the rest of the day. I decided to swim some more, walk along the beach, and sit in a float and go down the lazy river! Well, I did most of what I wanted, except for the lazy river. There were quite a few children there and all of the floats were occupied. I thought of my son and how the two of us laid on a two-person float last year and floated the mile of lazy river together! I decided to wait to go down the lazy river when I came again with my son!
Then I was ready to play with the sea lions! I boarded a hotel shuttle to travel to the area where the dolphins and sea lions were kept. They had us put wet suits on over our bathing suits. Then, after a lengthy, but quite informative orientation of the facility, we met all of the sea lions, even the 4-month-old babies! These “babies” weighed 150 pounds!! The biggest male sea lion they had weighed 500 pounds!! That’s a lot of sea lion!!
The sea lion we interacted with was named “Pippin.” She was a highly trained female who worked with a female trainer. The trainer had Pippin do some tricks and show off for us. Then we were able to get into the water with her. First everyone had a chance to pet her and get a picture taken petting her. Pippin even stuck her tongue out at the camera on queue! We then learned about some of the commands the trainers teach the sea lions. One was a kiss on the cheek. Everyone got a chance to get “kissed” by Pippin and “hugged” too! For the less squeamish, we could feed Pippin a fish as a treat. I decided to go for it! When would I feed a sea lion again?
Once the sea lion excursion was over (and another nice woman worker, who felt badly that I was there by myself, gave me a free snorkel, mask, and bag to take home to Brandon!), I shuttled back to my hotel and poured myself into my room to take a short nap. Then it was up and out to visit the “Bar on the Beach.” After 2 daiquiris, I, along with all of the other patrons, were dancing together with the bartenders, laughing and having the time of our lives!! When was the last time I uninhibitedly danced at a bar?? Too many decades ago, that’s for sure!! The bartenders stayed open a full extra hour for us, and played lots of music from my “era!” Once they closed down the bar, I stumbled to my room (those daiquiris were DAIQUIRIS!!). I wasn’t hungry and too “tipsy” to wander around, so I went on to my computer and made it an early night. Again, falling asleep to the sound of lapping waves!
I woke up the next day late!! I don’t remember waking up so late in ages!! I wandered downstairs to get coffee. I came back and dressed. But this was my REALLY relaxing day!! And the Sheryl Crow concert was that evening!! I took lots of photos, visited the aquarium the hotel is known for and took the day in stride. Then it hit me! I would be leaving this Paradise early the next morning!! I didn’t want to leave!! It was too soon!! I went to the front desk and inquired about the shuttle service I would need to pick me up early the next day. I found out that it was too late in the day to arrange it! There would be no way to get a shuttle the next morning to make it to the airport on time!! I called Jet Blue. They said for a $40 flight change, they could put me on a later, direct flight. I took it! I took the latest flight they had!! I could stay!! Even a few more hours made me elated!! I dressed for the Sheryl Crow concert, dancing around to the song “Soak Up the Sun!!”
I knew that luck was on my side, once again, when I went to the theater and found that they had given the same seat to both a gentleman who was part of a 10-person party and me. I didn’t want to break up the party, and since the box office made the mistake, and again, because I was by myself, they gave me a seat 4 rows from the stage!! I was so close, I could count every one of Sheryl’s waves in her hair!! I yelled and screamed, and even got up on the chairs like everyone else and danced my heart out!! I felt free! I felt unencumbered! Like I didn’t have a care in the world!! Like a feeling I haven’t felt in decades!
I am home now. I slept with my little boy the night I returned because he had fallen asleep by the time I arrived back. I wanted him to wake up knowing Mommy had returned, as promised, and I was right there next to him. Along with a bag full of presents for him to dive into once he woke up.
I titled this blog, “My Happiness Project” because I brought a book along on my trip called, “The Happiness Project,” by Gretchen Rubin. I fortunately or unfortunately, never even had the chance to crack open the book. But I set out to find happiness for myself, and I certainly did just that! Thus, the title of this blog.
One last thing; I have found that traveling alone can offer quite a few benefits! The best being finding your own happiness, any way you can!!
The second best is getting quite a few perks for being a solo traveler! I highly recommend it for anyone who is game!! Oh, and I WILL be going back to Paradise! Very soon!!
I made the decision to go to the Atlantis Resort in the Bahamas. I had been there for short stays twice before. I adored everything about this resort! From it’s many pools and water activities, to an expansive underground aquarium, to rock climbing! I loved it all!!
I arrived at the hotel at approximately 6 pm and after dropping my things off in my room, I headed for the outdoor bar for a large tropical drink! It relaxed me and set the tone for the rest of my stay! I perused the hotel, the choice of activities offered, walked to a nearby shopping area, and essentially just took in the gorgeous surroundings! Although there were may options to partake of, including a Sheryl Crow concert at the hotel, I simply just wandered around, collected brochures and mulled through them once I returned to my room.
I couldn’t have asked for a nicer location as hotel rooms go (remember, I AM the Hotel Snob - see Archives under same title). I had a room at the end of the hallway, away from elevators, traffic, maintenance rooms, but most importantly, right next to the beach and ocean! The sound of the ocean washing onto the shore was so relaxing, I left my sliding door open all night, every night!! I loved falling asleep to the sound of the rolling waves!
When I woke up the following day, I decided not to sign up for any specific activities, except for the Sheryl Crow concert, so that I could lounge and relax. I found a sparkling pool that had cutouts in rock, lining the pool. Through those oblong cutouts, you could see portions of the aquarium that ran behind it! It was so amazing! I went to get my phone, praying I wouldn’t drop it in the water, and took photos of these aquarium cutouts! Later on, I uploaded them to friends as my computer had internet service, but my phone didn’t.
When some clouds started wandering by, I decided to head back to shower and change. Once clean and happy, I ventured to the excursion desk to see if I could plan an activity or two for the following day. When I visited the hotel last year, I swam with dolphins. This time around, I decided to try swimming with sea lions! I went to book my adventure, but was told it was sold out for the whole next day. And I would be leaving the day after that. A lovely lady who worked at the excursion desk suggested that I go on a sea lion adventure that was offsite, but close by. She suggested I come down at 9 am the next morning to make sure I got a slot in the schedule.
The next day, I ran down, in my pajamas no less, to the excursion desk. The lovely lady who was there the day before was working again that day and remembered me from the night before. She first tried calling the sea lion tour that was offsite, but did not get an answer. On a whim, she tried calling over to the hotel’s sea lion facility and explained that I really wanted to go on the sea lion excursion, that I was only one person, and could they possibly squeeze me in that day...and they did!! It was the last excursion of the day, but that lovely lady got me in to swim with sea lions!! I was so excited, I hugged her! I then went back to my room to see how I would fill up the rest of the day. I decided to swim some more, walk along the beach, and sit in a float and go down the lazy river! Well, I did most of what I wanted, except for the lazy river. There were quite a few children there and all of the floats were occupied. I thought of my son and how the two of us laid on a two-person float last year and floated the mile of lazy river together! I decided to wait to go down the lazy river when I came again with my son!
Then I was ready to play with the sea lions! I boarded a hotel shuttle to travel to the area where the dolphins and sea lions were kept. They had us put wet suits on over our bathing suits. Then, after a lengthy, but quite informative orientation of the facility, we met all of the sea lions, even the 4-month-old babies! These “babies” weighed 150 pounds!! The biggest male sea lion they had weighed 500 pounds!! That’s a lot of sea lion!!
The sea lion we interacted with was named “Pippin.” She was a highly trained female who worked with a female trainer. The trainer had Pippin do some tricks and show off for us. Then we were able to get into the water with her. First everyone had a chance to pet her and get a picture taken petting her. Pippin even stuck her tongue out at the camera on queue! We then learned about some of the commands the trainers teach the sea lions. One was a kiss on the cheek. Everyone got a chance to get “kissed” by Pippin and “hugged” too! For the less squeamish, we could feed Pippin a fish as a treat. I decided to go for it! When would I feed a sea lion again?
Once the sea lion excursion was over (and another nice woman worker, who felt badly that I was there by myself, gave me a free snorkel, mask, and bag to take home to Brandon!), I shuttled back to my hotel and poured myself into my room to take a short nap. Then it was up and out to visit the “Bar on the Beach.” After 2 daiquiris, I, along with all of the other patrons, were dancing together with the bartenders, laughing and having the time of our lives!! When was the last time I uninhibitedly danced at a bar?? Too many decades ago, that’s for sure!! The bartenders stayed open a full extra hour for us, and played lots of music from my “era!” Once they closed down the bar, I stumbled to my room (those daiquiris were DAIQUIRIS!!). I wasn’t hungry and too “tipsy” to wander around, so I went on to my computer and made it an early night. Again, falling asleep to the sound of lapping waves!
I woke up the next day late!! I don’t remember waking up so late in ages!! I wandered downstairs to get coffee. I came back and dressed. But this was my REALLY relaxing day!! And the Sheryl Crow concert was that evening!! I took lots of photos, visited the aquarium the hotel is known for and took the day in stride. Then it hit me! I would be leaving this Paradise early the next morning!! I didn’t want to leave!! It was too soon!! I went to the front desk and inquired about the shuttle service I would need to pick me up early the next day. I found out that it was too late in the day to arrange it! There would be no way to get a shuttle the next morning to make it to the airport on time!! I called Jet Blue. They said for a $40 flight change, they could put me on a later, direct flight. I took it! I took the latest flight they had!! I could stay!! Even a few more hours made me elated!! I dressed for the Sheryl Crow concert, dancing around to the song “Soak Up the Sun!!”
I knew that luck was on my side, once again, when I went to the theater and found that they had given the same seat to both a gentleman who was part of a 10-person party and me. I didn’t want to break up the party, and since the box office made the mistake, and again, because I was by myself, they gave me a seat 4 rows from the stage!! I was so close, I could count every one of Sheryl’s waves in her hair!! I yelled and screamed, and even got up on the chairs like everyone else and danced my heart out!! I felt free! I felt unencumbered! Like I didn’t have a care in the world!! Like a feeling I haven’t felt in decades!
I am home now. I slept with my little boy the night I returned because he had fallen asleep by the time I arrived back. I wanted him to wake up knowing Mommy had returned, as promised, and I was right there next to him. Along with a bag full of presents for him to dive into once he woke up.
I titled this blog, “My Happiness Project” because I brought a book along on my trip called, “The Happiness Project,” by Gretchen Rubin. I fortunately or unfortunately, never even had the chance to crack open the book. But I set out to find happiness for myself, and I certainly did just that! Thus, the title of this blog.
One last thing; I have found that traveling alone can offer quite a few benefits! The best being finding your own happiness, any way you can!!
The second best is getting quite a few perks for being a solo traveler! I highly recommend it for anyone who is game!! Oh, and I WILL be going back to Paradise! Very soon!!
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
I’m Gonna Get Away - by Cara
May 28, 2010. Memorial Day Weekend. My fifteenth wedding anniversary. And I’m going away.
This used to be the most exciting day and weekend of my life! For years after I got married, I would chidingly say to my husband, “Let’s get married this weekend!” even though we already were.
I woke up from a sound sleep at 2 am a couple months ago, and I was having a panic attack. I couldn’t bear to be in my home, sobbing and grieving over the loss of my marriage on that weekend. Even the thought of seeing my husband, however brief, had me already crying. So I picked up my laptop and started investigating package deals.
I knew where I wanted to go. I knew EXACTLY where I wanted to go. I wanted to go to the Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas! I had been there for the day, a couple times before, when cruises I took made a stop in the Bahamas for the day.
I instantly loved the Atlantis! It is big enough to be anonymous, yet small enough to easily get to know your way around. There are so many things to do, from swimming with dolphins to relaxing under a palm tree to rock climbing! I plan to seek out how many kid friendly things there are to do there because I’d like to take my son there the week before school starts! He had been there once and loved it so much that when he saw a commercial for it he asked, “Mommy? Didn’t we go there?” I told him that we did and he replied, “I knew it!! Let’s go again!!” I didn’t promise him we would go, but I am going to get as much information as I can for possibly a short stay at the end of the summer. He is so enamored with the Atlantis, that he wants a couple Lego sets based on this Resort. I bought him two Atlantis Lego sets. I will be giving him one before I leave. The other will be a “present” for when I return, 4 days later.
When I told my husband that I would be going away, he had an odd reaction of relief and joy. Relief because I suppose he won’t have to acknowledge the uncomfortableness of the weekend. And joy because he has dozens of activities already planned for him to do with our son.
I will be bringing my laptop to Skype with my son each day. I am also bringing a book called, “The Happiness Project,” which has gotten very good reviews. I think it’s time I embark on my own Happiness Project. And even if all I do is sit under a palm tree, reading this book, I will be content.
Being completely off of the continent will bring a nice respite for the tremendous stress I have been going through, each and every day. It will be nice to clear my head among such beautiful surroundings. And with a little hope, I will be enjoying myself so much that I will completely forget that it is Memorial Day weekend. And even more importantly, forget about a certain date. May 28, 2010.
This used to be the most exciting day and weekend of my life! For years after I got married, I would chidingly say to my husband, “Let’s get married this weekend!” even though we already were.
I woke up from a sound sleep at 2 am a couple months ago, and I was having a panic attack. I couldn’t bear to be in my home, sobbing and grieving over the loss of my marriage on that weekend. Even the thought of seeing my husband, however brief, had me already crying. So I picked up my laptop and started investigating package deals.
I knew where I wanted to go. I knew EXACTLY where I wanted to go. I wanted to go to the Atlantis Resort on Paradise Island in the Bahamas! I had been there for the day, a couple times before, when cruises I took made a stop in the Bahamas for the day.
I instantly loved the Atlantis! It is big enough to be anonymous, yet small enough to easily get to know your way around. There are so many things to do, from swimming with dolphins to relaxing under a palm tree to rock climbing! I plan to seek out how many kid friendly things there are to do there because I’d like to take my son there the week before school starts! He had been there once and loved it so much that when he saw a commercial for it he asked, “Mommy? Didn’t we go there?” I told him that we did and he replied, “I knew it!! Let’s go again!!” I didn’t promise him we would go, but I am going to get as much information as I can for possibly a short stay at the end of the summer. He is so enamored with the Atlantis, that he wants a couple Lego sets based on this Resort. I bought him two Atlantis Lego sets. I will be giving him one before I leave. The other will be a “present” for when I return, 4 days later.
When I told my husband that I would be going away, he had an odd reaction of relief and joy. Relief because I suppose he won’t have to acknowledge the uncomfortableness of the weekend. And joy because he has dozens of activities already planned for him to do with our son.
I will be bringing my laptop to Skype with my son each day. I am also bringing a book called, “The Happiness Project,” which has gotten very good reviews. I think it’s time I embark on my own Happiness Project. And even if all I do is sit under a palm tree, reading this book, I will be content.
Being completely off of the continent will bring a nice respite for the tremendous stress I have been going through, each and every day. It will be nice to clear my head among such beautiful surroundings. And with a little hope, I will be enjoying myself so much that I will completely forget that it is Memorial Day weekend. And even more importantly, forget about a certain date. May 28, 2010.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
First Grade Algebra
I may be dating myself, but I distinctly remember learning Algebra in the ninth grade. I had a VERY good but VERY strict woman teacher who explained the concepts so well, I think I received 100% on every test! And I don’t give myself the credit, because math is not my strong suit! This particular teacher was excellent! And I will never forget how wonderful she made me feel inside through being so successful in her class because she translated the concepts into such simple language! I had wished she taught every subject in high school!
Fast-forward 32 years later. I am sitting down with my already burnt out son, trying to figure out what in the world the teacher wants us to do with the algebraic equations on this piece of paper! And, of course, all of the problems are verbal, so not only do you have to understand what is written (which my son has problems with to begin with), but also you then have to take this verbal information and translate it into numeric equations! In first grade!!
Not only did I have to send my whining son away to take a break so that I could focus on the math problems at hand, I went into my husband’s office to show him this sheet of nonsense to see if HE could figure it out! And unlike me, he did NOT do well in algebra!!
So my question is, what is going on here? I’ve asked my son’s teacher why a first grader needs to know algebra and her response was that the fourth and fifth grade teachers are getting flack from administration because the children in these grades are not doing as well on the standardized tests. If math concepts are filtered down earlier through the grades, by fourth and fifth grade, children should be showing improvements on the standardized tests.
What all of this boils down to is rank order. School systems are becoming so competitive that first graders are now being pushed to do algebra so that by fifth grade these children do so well, that the school is ranked higher against other schools.
This is all beauracracy!! My son is made to believe that he is “dumb” because he can’t spit out algebraic equations on the tip of his tongue! He has to come home from a long day at school and practically cry because some school administrator feels it is necessary to “filter down” math to the lower grades so that they will later do better on standardized tests?? I would like to take my son, who has above average intelligence, I am told, and sit down with him to do this so-called “algebra” at the administrator’s home! I would like for the administrator to see how it demeans a child’s sense of accomplishment when they struggle to understand a concept that is way beyond his comprehension! Especially when they have had 40 minutes of homework that they’ve already done! I’d like this administrator to watch as my son starts to cry because he can’t take anymore of this unnecessary insanity and just puts down anything on the page, just to be done with it!! Then this administrator can tell me about the benefits of “filtering down” mathematic concepts to the lower grades!!
What did I end up doing with this homework? I sent in a nicely written note, asking the teacher to send home more specific instructions, so that the parents could assist their children with their homework. No algebra homework has come home since.
By the way, unless you are a teacher or mathematics/English major, could you explain to me just exactly what an “addend” or “dipthong” is?
Fast-forward 32 years later. I am sitting down with my already burnt out son, trying to figure out what in the world the teacher wants us to do with the algebraic equations on this piece of paper! And, of course, all of the problems are verbal, so not only do you have to understand what is written (which my son has problems with to begin with), but also you then have to take this verbal information and translate it into numeric equations! In first grade!!
Not only did I have to send my whining son away to take a break so that I could focus on the math problems at hand, I went into my husband’s office to show him this sheet of nonsense to see if HE could figure it out! And unlike me, he did NOT do well in algebra!!
So my question is, what is going on here? I’ve asked my son’s teacher why a first grader needs to know algebra and her response was that the fourth and fifth grade teachers are getting flack from administration because the children in these grades are not doing as well on the standardized tests. If math concepts are filtered down earlier through the grades, by fourth and fifth grade, children should be showing improvements on the standardized tests.
What all of this boils down to is rank order. School systems are becoming so competitive that first graders are now being pushed to do algebra so that by fifth grade these children do so well, that the school is ranked higher against other schools.
This is all beauracracy!! My son is made to believe that he is “dumb” because he can’t spit out algebraic equations on the tip of his tongue! He has to come home from a long day at school and practically cry because some school administrator feels it is necessary to “filter down” math to the lower grades so that they will later do better on standardized tests?? I would like to take my son, who has above average intelligence, I am told, and sit down with him to do this so-called “algebra” at the administrator’s home! I would like for the administrator to see how it demeans a child’s sense of accomplishment when they struggle to understand a concept that is way beyond his comprehension! Especially when they have had 40 minutes of homework that they’ve already done! I’d like this administrator to watch as my son starts to cry because he can’t take anymore of this unnecessary insanity and just puts down anything on the page, just to be done with it!! Then this administrator can tell me about the benefits of “filtering down” mathematic concepts to the lower grades!!
What did I end up doing with this homework? I sent in a nicely written note, asking the teacher to send home more specific instructions, so that the parents could assist their children with their homework. No algebra homework has come home since.
By the way, unless you are a teacher or mathematics/English major, could you explain to me just exactly what an “addend” or “dipthong” is?
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
Planting a Child
I must start off by confessing my guilt over the past five years.
Every Mother’s Day since the first Mother’s Day after my son was born, I have not wanted flowers. I have not wanted jewelry. I have not wanted dinner out at a fancy restaurant. I have not wanted anything but for someone to take my child away and care for him for as much of Mother’s Day as possible. That’s all.
And for those of you who are gasping, I will explain. From birth, my son has been probably the most challenging child ever born. And every day, for 364 days of the year, I would be the sleep deprived Mom of a highly energetic and creative baby and toddler. So, come Mother’s Day, all I would ask of my husband would be to take our son to visit his Grandmother, take him to a park, take him anywhere, but, please, take him out of the house for as long as possible! And my husband always obliged.
I would relish those one days a year! I would mostly catch up on much needed sleep or read a book or check the 251 e-mails in my inbox. None of my friends ever understood. They would call to wish me a Happy Mother’s Day and ask what I would be doing for the day and I would reply, truthfully, “nothing.” I would then explain that I wanted a day of “nothing” for Mother’s Day. To fill up the pregnant pause that always came, I would quickly change the subject to find out what they would be doing and wish them a wonderful Mother’s Day.
Now, this year is going to be different. Quite different. Since my husband doesn’t like to spend much time in our home, on the weekends he takes our son to do various activities and spend downtime at his mother’s house. I don’t get to see much of my son many weekends, unless my husband is travelling or I have a specific event for my son and I to go to.
This year, I want my son all to myself for Mother’s Day!! For the past few weeks we have been nurturing seedlings on our window sills into nice hardy plants that are ready for the outdoors! I also attended a plant sale at my son’s school, where I met my son and we picked out more beautiful plants! And, true to my son’s personality, he had to make an announcement to his entire class that I was there to pick out plants with him! He was so proud to have me there! I was gushing like a schoolgirl who had a crush! My son loves me and wanted everyone to know it!! My heart melted!
So this year, Mother’s Day is going to be a splended day of bonding with my son while planting flowers and vegetables! The weather is predicted to be pleasant, so I am looking forward to digging in the dirt with my son! And I know while we are digging, we will inevitably find an earthworm that my compassionate son will befriend and want to have live in the house with us. And he will name him “Wormy.” And I will be completely in the moment of being in the presence of my son, planting and talking about everything and nothing. And I will enjoy every second with my child!
Just like nurturing the seedlings on our window sill, young ones need special care and tending to. And as they outgrow their containers, you have to take them from their safe environments and plant them somewhere else. Then you have to watch them grow! Grow bigger and stronger and able to take on the elements! They will still need tending to. But they must learn to continue growing on their own. And with a little luck, these plants will thrive under your care.
As much as I didn’t want to spend Mother’s Day with my son all these years, I must have done something right the other 364 days of the year! I tended to my son so carefully when he was young, at the expense of taking care of my own needs. And when my son was ready, I sent him out into the world to see how he would do, always in the background in case he needed tending to. But my son flourished! Now he is growing rapidly in every direction! He needs to be “pruned” a little now and then, but he is weathering his own elements. He knows I am always there to tend to him. But, day by day, I am letting him flourish in his own garden! He is still a young plant and needs me to care for him. But he is also showing me how he has been able to take on his own elements successfully!
I am so in love with and completely amazed at what good parenting can produce! The best complement he could have ever given me was to announce to his class that I was there to help him pick out plants! There were other parents at the plant sale. But my son needed to let the world know that I was there for HIM!!
I will ALWAYS be there for my son. We’ve come a long way in 6 1/2 years. But I love this child like crazy. And no matter how little time we sometimes get to spend with one another, I know how much we love each other.
I am anxious to see what type of plant my son does become! But I’m not so anxious that I want the time we have together to fly by. I’m content to sit back, nurture, prune and watch my son slowly grow.
And from now on, Mother’s Day is going to become, “Mommy and Me” day!! I don’t want flowers, nor jewelry, nor eating in a fancy restaurant. The only thing I want is my son. Just him and him alone. Along with some seedlings ready to plant throughout the day! And also finding a worm and naming him, “Wormy.”
I dedicate this blog to my incredible son! You are my moon, the sun and the stars above! I love you, Sweetheart!!
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