What a Difference a Day Makes

Or, more accurately, what a difference a medication can make over the course of one day!

As I ranted last week about my son continually taking off his medication patch for his ADHD, my HUSBAND (yes, the same one who would NEVER, EVER put his son on ADHD medication!) actually put a call into my son’s ADHD doctor to see if we could switch from using the patch medication to a long-acting oral pill. We were given the same medication that was in the patch, but given by mouth once a day instead.

What a difference a day DOES make!

The first day that my son took the pill, he behaved exactly like our son only toned down a few notches. Even better, I discovered that my son has exhibited less overall anxiety and has been far more in touch with his feelings. Instead of blowing up when his anger became too much to handle, he has been much better able to communicate what he wants or needs in the present moment. I have found that ability in him to be remarkable. And it is all due to a tiny, time-release medication. I thank the Heavens that this med is working for my son and working well. I don’t think my husband would tolerate trials of different medications to see which worked best. I have finally discovered my true Angel, only a little more new and improved!! And I absolutely love it!

My son’s ADHD is genetic on his paternal side. His father has it. His Uncles have it. Even his Grandfather has it. Only one of my son’s Uncles is willing to admit he has ADHD. The rest of the family is in denial. My blog today focuses on parents and how they deal with their children’s diagnoses. ADHD is often genetic. As I mentioned above, my staunchly adamant ADHD husband, who was against giving my son ANY form of ADHD medication, now is convinced that we have a “new and improved” child!

The research is quite intriguing. From what I have both researched and personally experienced, parents come in two distinct categories when it comes to their ADHD children. There are parents I have met who accept that their child has ADHD even if the other parent refuses to accept the diagnosis (such as in my case). The accepting parents try very hard to play an active role and be the very best role model they can be when they are with their child. They try their best to educate themselves and learn to work with their ADHD child rather than against him or her.

On the other hand, there are parents who resemble my husband. These parents refuse to acknowledge that their children have any disorders at all. They are harsh with their children, overly strict, and domineering. A combustible combination if there ever was one. Because ADHD children are commonly very intelligent, they recognize that they are not being treated fairly and power struggles ensue. Relationships with these types of parents either never “jell” or they fail miserably because of the parent’s refusal to look beyond themselves and see who their child really is.

I discovered some interesting facts through my research of how parents relate with and affect their children. There are parents who take classes, look for books or articles to read or join support groups to learn as much as they can about their ADHD child. Also, the parents who are accepting of their child’s ADHD should try to educate themselves not only about the disorder, but also about the different types of ADHD and how it affects their child.

According to an article from the Northern County Psychiatric Associates, ADHD has three basic features:

•  Inattention (distractibility, daydreaming or “spacing out”)

•  Physical hyperactivity (fidgetiness, running about, or “flitting” from one task to another)

•  Impulsivity (acting without thinking and many times later regretting it)

The article states, “Children with combined ADHD involve inattention along with hyperactivity and/or impulsivity. This is a classic ‘boy type’ ADHD. These children can be creative and charming, but may require more of the parent’s time and energy.” My son falls into this category. And as an older Mom, I could have told them that these children definitely require much more time and energy!

I am not the only one in a situation where parents are divided on this issue. As the aforementioned article points out, “Some parents may base their opinions on inaccurate or skewed material. In previous generations, there was more stigma associated with mental illness and behavior disorders. If a parent perceived ADHD as shameful, they didn’t want to think that it could appear in their family.

Very unfortunately, there are parents who constantly yell at their ADHD children. Some parents spank their ADHD children. The article goes on to say, “Parents should take special care to avoid such punishment in ADHD children because it can lead the children to become impulsive. These children might get the message that the use of hitting or violence is a way to resolve conflicts. Gentler methods, even if they take longer, provide the child with a model of how to resolve disagreements.”

Parents must strive to use gentler methods and be a positive role model to their children. This was why it was so challenging to discipline my son last week when he was going through his “rebound effect.” His nerve endings were going through withdrawal. It would not have been fair to my son to punish him when he has absolutely no control over his nerve endings! The best I could do was to try to keep him safe until the medication left his system.

Above all, treating the child with respect elicits lasting respect between parents and their children. This is the foundation in every action you have with your child. Especially an ADD/ADHD child. Respect goes a huge way towards fostering a loving, caring relationship with any child and his or her parents.

“Parents can fill an important psychological role in their children’s development,” the article states. “Children tend to perceive the parent’s acceptance as more unconditional. In many cases, the parent can be a source of advice and comfort. Even during adolescence, a child may try to pull away from their parents but because there is still respect, the teen usually will choose to maintain a closeness to their parents.” This is why it is so imperative that parents be encouraged to learn all they can about ADHD and how it affects their children. The more empowered parents feel, the more proactive they can be.

A little bit of knowledge, at any age, can go a long way towards helping children with ADHD feel loved, accepted and successful. And respect can go a very long way to fulfilling lasting, unconditional relationships between both parents and their children. And one day, should your child require ADHD medication, you might see a miracle buried inside of your wonderful child. Then you will agree and be saying, “Wow! What a difference a day (or a medication) makes!”

Stress Overload

 Stress: a situation, occurrence, or factor causing physical, mental, or

 emotional strain or tension.

- Oxford Dictionary

Ahh stress. I am under so much stress right now, I'm surprised I can write this blog. I am under so much stress, the thought of eating makes me sick. I am under so much stress, that my run down body came down with a cold, my irritable bowels started acting up, I got my period two weeks early, and my face broke out in a huge way. All in less than 24 hours. I would guess that by virtue off all of this happening in such a short period of time, I would suffice to say, I am experiencing stress overload.

I probably should begin with last weekend. My son started on an ADHD medication patch. For the first three days, it worked beautifully on my son. Even his teacher noticed the improvement. Then, all of a sudden, the patch started disappearing. I asked my son if he had taken the patch off, prefacing my question by letting him know that I would not be upset with him at all. I truly just needed to have an estimated time to record. He said he had no idea.

On the same day, I received a court subpoena to appear as a defendant in a court case. I needed this like I needed a whole in my head.

In any event, the next day, the medication patch turned up "missing" again. Concomitantly (and this will have a direct correlation, as you will see), both my son and I had been getting mosquito bites on our legs and arms. I was layering our bodies with calamine lotion. It also happened to be warm last week so shorts and tee-shirts were the attire. My bites were healing with calamine lotion. My son's looked like they were getting more infected. The fact that he was scratching them relentlessly certainly didn't help. I was covering his multitude of bites with antibiotic ointment and bandages. The bites did not seem to be improving, and he had been accumulating more. Now we must jump back to the medication patch.

I could tell when my son took off his patch too early because he displayed a "rebound effect." All of a sudden he was all over the place, uncontrollable, rude, disrespectful, obnoxious...not even nearly what he was like before he started the patch. I called his doctor. Since I get up at 4:30am every day to take one of my own medicines, the doctor and I thought that if I put the patch on my son where he wouldn't know where I placed it, such as between his shoulder blades, we might be able to have my son not even think about the patch, thus not taking it off. This worked for two days until my son caught on to where I put it when I had to take it off. Then he was back to removing them as soon as possible. Now, back to the mosquito bites. (There IS a reason for this bouncing back and forth between topics...).

Thursday night I noticed bug bites on my son's neck, shoulders and right ear. His ear itched him the most. I was able to put calamine lotion on my son's neck and shoulders but didn't feel comfortable putting it on or in his ear. All night long, my son scratched his ear until it was bleeding. In the morning, I cleaned his ear. It looked better and my son said it felt better, so I sent him to school.

Late in the school day, the school nurse called me to explain that my son was again scratching his ear until bleeding, but she also detected a clear fluid coming from somewhere within the ear. She advised that I see my son's doctor as soon as possible. I immediately called my son's doctor but the earliest they could give my son an appointment would be first thing the next morning unless I felt that my son needed to go to the emergency room. I honestly didn't feel that my son needed to go to the emergency room, so I kept gently cleaning my son's ear, despite the fact that my son was still scratching at it. Later that night I noticed a sticky, clear discharge coming from his ear. I was certain it was impetigo. And yes, my son had taken his patch off again at some point during the day.

By the next morning, my son's ear looked ten times worse than the night before. Even his bug bites looked more red and swollen. Marks even showed up on his face. I dutifully put my son's medication patch on and we went to see the doctor. While we were in the waiting room, my son was pacing, stopping every few feet to scratch a bug bite or his ear and eventually the site where I put his patch. I asked if the patch bothered him. He angrily said, "Yes! That's the whole problem! Every day you make me wear that thing, my itching gets worse! I want it to come off!!" I told him that we would have to speak with his doctor before we could do that, knowing full well that the patch was completely unrelated to his bodily itching.

When we first saw the doctor in the examination room, the doctor took one look at my son and said, "I want to admit him into the hospital for IV antibiotics." My son was angrily stating to the doctor that the medication patch was the problem. He explained, logically in his 8 year - old mind, that if the itchy patch were taken off, he would get better. To my son's dismay, the doctor reassured my son that the patch had absolutely nothing to do with the itching on the rest of his body. Very cryptically, the doctor and I discussed the issue of the hospital admission or not. I have a medical background, so we spoke using medical lingo and higher level vocabulary. I essentially said to the doctor that if my son were admitted into the hospital, he would need to be either sedated, restrained, or both because my son would be pulling out his IVs left and right. My son is also deathly afraid of needles, so he would end up being an extremely difficult patient to manage. Based on this, the doctor came up with a more reasonable solution: Give my son oral antibiotics equivalent to what he would get through IV, quarantine him for the entire weekend, wash his sheets with boiling hot water after 2 days on the antibiotics and ear drops, and sanitize my hands after touching my son. He was diagnosed with systemic impetigo, however the doctor was very concerned that this could rapidly turn into MRSA, the "flesh eating" disease.

Okay, now that there was a plan, there were more obstacles. My son gags and vomits when you try to give him pills and he abhors the taste of children's liquid medicines. My son was adamantly refusing to take either the antibiotic pills or liquid. The doctor and I had to lay his options on the line: Either take the meds at home, or go to the hospital and have the med be given through a needle. Decision was made: Home with liquid medicine.

Since my son was extremely contagious and my husband was out of town on business, I waited for a parking spot close to the pharmacy door and had my son stay in the car while I brought the prescriptions into the pharmacy. I dropped them off and went to go check on my son in the car. Outside of the pharmacy, but within site of my car, I called my husband to tell him what was happening. He was going to arrange a change in his flight back home, but called me back and said that one of the men he was meeting with had his own private jet, so the private jet would fly my husband home immediately (Rough life my husband has. Wait until I get to HIS part of this never ending story). 

I finally get the medicines for my son, go home, but my son won't take the med. I even tasted it and it tasted vile. Since it had a hint of orange flavor, I tried adding a bit of milk hoping it would taste like a creamsicle. No such luck. And this kid had to take this medicine three times a day. I reiterated that the only other option was the hospital. I barely got a half dose of med in him. And he took his medication patch off again. So now I have a VERY sick kid, literally (and I do mean literally) scaling the doorway to the top to touch the ceiling because he is going through a rebound effect, and is practically uncontrollable. (Are you exhausted yet by just reading this? I promise to summarize and spare you any further exhaustion).

My husband came home and got a pill form of the oral med to try to get my son to take. He tolerated it, although my son continued to fly off of my bed, onto his beanbag, scale the doorway, was insolent and uncooperative. I had to just keep that in mind that all of this behavior was because of the rebound effect. I couldn’t strictly punish my son because his brain chemicals were imbalanced. A call went in to my son's ADHD doctor. Here is the icing on the cake...

I was terribly behind in checking my e-mail. I tried to go through some of it and what did I find? A forwarded letter from my lawyer that stating that my husband is counter-suing me for divorce with full custody of my son with...get this one...visitation only outside of my home!!!

NOW can you say stress overload??

At the very end of the day, one of my son’s toys broke and he had a complete and total breakdown. His hysterical crying was not simply due to the broken toy. For an hour, I huddled behind him on the carpet as he was clutching my arm tightly around him. He sobbed, ranted and raved about things that occurred to him TWO YEARS ago! This poor child had been bottling up two years worth of frustration and anger that I never knew of. He was experiencing his own stress overload and it needed to be released.

As close as I am to my son and as comfortable as he is coming to me with things that bother him, I am going to take extra time to try to dig a little deeper and find out if there are issues that are worrying him, that he might have temporarily forgotten about. I want him to know that I care about everything that goes on in his life. Even the fact that he got a locker last year that never fully shut and it frustrated him. As parents, we forget that children are at risk of stress overload too. We need to be there for and be mindful that our children experience stress also. Stress is not limited to adults with mature minds and full plates. Little minds experience stress in different ways and often cannot express it. It is up to us, as parents, to keep a tab on issues that are affecting our children and help them sort out their problems or just lend an ear.

Communication is going to be a lot different from now on with my son. I am going to be much more mindful and reach out to him more frequently. No one should have to lie on the floor spewing frustration from two years past. Especially not a child.

Hallmark Really Cares

Back in December, Hallmark started marketing their line of Recordable Storybooks. What made them particularly enticing was that they were similar to recordable cards. The recordable books, however, went a step further. They allow you to stop recording, if necessary, make corrections, and speak at your own pace. Perfectly modifiable!

My son gave me one of the Hallmark Recordable Storybooks for the Holidays. What made this book extremely special to me is that my son has a learning disability which makes it particularly difficult for him to read. With my husband's guidance and my son's practice, I was able to hear my son read me the recordable book, "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star," almost flawlessly! Tears were welling up in my eyes as I heard my son's sweet voice! I was overjoyed hearing him read an entire book cover to cover!  This very special book will be treasured for the rest of my life.

I wanted to reciprocate to my son, not only what the recordable book represented, but obtain a book that would convey the special bond my son and I share. I started looking in every Hallmark store I knew of to find one of two recordable books as a special birthday present. To my absolute dismay, I couldn't find either of the books I wanted at any of my local Hallmark stores. My heart was very heavy.

My son's birthday was in August, ironically falling on the same day as the BlogHer '11 Conference. He was going to be away during the weekend of his birthday, so I took the opportunity to go to the BlogHer '11 Conference that weekend. During the Expo part of the conference, I spotted a Hallmark booth. It was the very end of the day. I approached one of the sweet Hallmark representatives and begged her for information as to how I could purchase one of the recordable books I wanted. She told me she would send me the book that I had been so desperately looking for and had me write down my address. I promised I would write a blog review about the book as a thank you for her very kind gesture.

Once I returned home, I was contacted by a different Hallmark representative asking me if I would mind doing a blog review on some of their Back-to-School products. I gladly acknowledged that I would be happy to, especially knowing that the first representative was sending me the recordable book I wanted so badly.

Within a week's time, I received not only the special recordable book I requested from the first rep, I also received a package from the second rep with an amazing surprise inside. As I opened the top of the box, I saw what looked like a recordable book along with several other items. I held my breath as I slid the book out of the box. To my absolute astonishment, there in front of me was the other recordable book I had been looking for! I just couldn't have been happier! I had received the very two books that I so wanted to record for my son! To make it even more exciting, I received sample cards from the new Hallmark Kids Collection that I could fill out for my son's first day of school and an adorable booklet of messages that I could tear out and put into my son's lunch tote!

I recorded the "All the Ways I Love You" book before my son went away on vacation with my husband for a week. My son looked at me with mouth agape as he listened to my voice, and turned each page! He then said to me, "How did you get a book like mine?" (He was referring to the "Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star" recordable book). I told him that Mommies sometimes have magic powers! (And wonderful Hallmark representatives!).

A couple weeks later, I recorded the second book. The night before my son had his first day of school, I presented him with the "Guess How Much I Love You," recordable book. Again, my son was enthralled! I had read the actual book to my son dozens of times. But hearing my voice as he turned each page added a completely different dimension to it. Here I was, sitting next to him, but silent, except for my voice coming from the book. Both books are displayed on my son's dresser, as his is displayed on mine.

The Hallmark Recordable Storybooks are great if you are a parent who travels. Your children will be able to hear your voice, even when you are away. Additionally, these books will provide an opportunity to help develop reading skills. Most of all, they provide bonding time with your children whether you are next to them or far away.

Once my son was asleep, I packed the unrefrigerated parts of his lunch and included a lunch message from the booklet, "Lunch Notes for Kids." There are 50 notes in the booklet. I chose one that said, "I'm hugging you in my heart right now. I know, I know...I'm squishing you. I'll let go in a minute." Using these adorable notes will surprise your child with a serving of love and pride. The unexpected "I love you" or "good luck" will let your child know you're by their side even after they get on the school bus.

When my son came home from his first day of school, I presented him with a card from the Hallmark Kids Collection of cards. The cards address topics for both young and older children. These include messages that provide positive reinforcement, hard work achievements as well as topics for tweens/teens which focus on peer pressure and choosing friends wisely. The card that I chose to give my son said, "If I could hug you every time I think of you..." on the outside, and "you'd be smooshed!" on the inside. He gave me a big grin as I hugged him until he was "smooshed!"

The Kids Collection of cards can either be snuck into a notebook or backpack as a surprise for your child to open during the day. Or, if your child might get embarrassed like mine, but loves getting mail, they can have a card waiting for them in the mailbox at the end of the day.

With backpacks bulging with new notebooks, pencils and glue, kids sometimes need more than school supplies to face the exciting and challenging situations the upcoming year holds. This is why Hallmark created it's Back-to-School line. When you are helping your child get off to a good start with the new school year, don't forget to throw in a little encouragement and confidence from Hallmark! You know your child will be getting the very best from you!

I would like to thank the fabulous Hallmark representatives for providing me with these wonderful Hallmark products to use and review. I am truly appreciative!

Just Me and My Guy

A beautiful ocean breeze is blowing by me while my son is making the "world's largest sandcastle" with a little boy he befriended. We have had impeccable weather since we have been here; Five days so far. Under ordinary circumstances, this would be sublime.

My son and I are at a ridiculously overpriced beachfront hotel, with suboptimal service (I am the Hotel Snob, you know). Our house has been without power, food, and hot water for almost a week now, since Hurricane Irene passed by. My son couldn't take the pitch black nights with no air conditioning or fans and no refrigerated food. I made a call to a beachfront resort that I had tried to make reservations with a month ago. At that time they were booked solid. I called the day after the hurricane passed and wouldn't you know it! I had my choice of any room I wanted because so many guests had cancelled! I planned to stay for just a few days since I predicted we would have power back within that time. No such luck. I extended our stay throughout the Labor Day weekend.

This unplanned excursion, although bordering on necessary, has really been a treat for both my son and me. Neither of us had been to the beach all summer. My son adores the beach and wallows in the sand. I know I can take him anywhere and he will make friends...even a beach chair, if necessary! His BFF and mine came to visit us one of the days we were here. That day went too quickly for us. Since then, my son has befriended a boy who is here with his Mom and siblings because they lost power also. The boys have been practically inseparable.

My only frustration has been the fact that some cell towers around here have been inactive, due to the storm. My only means of communication has been through texting. I'm not sure if I like embracing my limited means of communication or not. On the one hand, I have to use my computer sparingly. Getting and receiving cell phone calls is practically impossible. If the wind blows the right way, I can post on FaceBook or upload a photo of my son on the beach. All in all, though, I'm getting used to the spotty connections and limitations to the outside world.

The best part of this trip has been the bonding I have had with my son. We are "together" 24/7. He is off with his friend while on the beach, but we are together at all other times. We lie in bed, exhausted at the end of the day. He watches some TV while I read or type this blog. We order in room service because I arranged to get meal vouchers. All I have to pay for is the delivery fee. Basically, we do what we want, when we want, with no set schedule at all. It's perfect!

We also play on the beach together. When my son's friend has somewhere else to go, we fly our kite, dig in the sand, and walk on the beach collecting treasures. I get cold easily, so I stay at the water's edge and take photos of my son as he navigates the wild post-hurricane current with his boogie board! We even became friendly with a very nice lifeguard who took my son out into the ocean to help him learn to swim in ocean water. I have complete confidence when my son is in a pool or still water. But ocean water is always unpredictable. I want him to feel the unpredictability and learn how to navigate through it. He is strong and sure of himself. I have no reason to believe he won't be able to be completely comfortable and respectful of the ocean. He wants to learn to surf one day. One needs to be totally at ease but mindful to take on a sport such as that.  

This week has been an unexpected joy! My blogs, however, seem to depict an oxymoron! Last week I was swooning over my extended "alone time." Now I am swooning over time spent together with my son. I guess this shows me that there really is no balance to parenting if you have one but not the other. I also believe that because we are just doing our own thing, without any set schedules, it makes this time together even more enjoyable. I am almost disappointed for us both that school begins in a few days. We'll be back to "routine." Everyone needs routine in their lives to some extent. Some more than others. But I am loving this simple time with just my son. His sweet endearments towards me. My unbridled love for him. Just the two of us. Just me and my guy. 

The Calm Before the Storm

As I am writing this, I am prepared for and awaiting Hurricane Irene to pass by this area of the East Coast. Although several of my friends who live near to the shoreline have already had to evacuate, I am thankful that I am able to stay in my own home. After last year's tornado, one dinky hurricane is not scaring me away.

Most important to me, at this moment, is that for the first time in, I don't know how many years, I am alone. Completely, utterly, you can hear a pin drop, alone. I am feeling devinely bliss.

My husband took my son to California to visit with my Brother-in-Law and his family. I felt that this was a perfect time to get our carpets professionally cleaned in our home. The dogs went to the kennel ("Doggie Camp," as my son calls it). Although I was left to shlep numerous items downstairs and orchestrate this whole undertaking, once the cleaners left, I took a nice hot shower and then a peaceful, completely uninterrupted nap. Sublime does not even begin to describe how I felt.

Family and dogs were all supposed to return home on Saturday. With the forecast of Hurricane Irene passing through our area over the weekend, my husband made the decision to fly back home with my son on Monday. Dogs will be coming home then too. Here I thought I would have two days to relax and unwind. Now it has turned into four! I am completely in Heaven! Even if we lose electricity, I will luxuriate in reading novels barely started or take well deserved naps. As a well designed credit card commercial tags, what I have now is priceless!

From this blessed experience, I must admit that as a Later Mom, I feel we all need significant downtime. This time alone has been truly an unexpected blessing because every one of my typical days is filled with enormous amounts of stress. Putting myself aside, though, shouldn't every Mom get alone time? Real alone time. Not catch up on e-mail time. Not do some extra laundry time. Real, honest-to-goodness do something relaxing time! 

I often cringe when magazines or professional organizers suggest to Moms that they "schedule" downtime for themselves. If I have to schedule it, then how can it truly be considered "downtime?" My personal example is that I have a standing manicure appointment at the same time, every two weeks. Manicures used to be luxurious for me. They bordered on indulgent. Now they have been relegated to a "task" that needs to be fulfilled whether I'm in the mood for a manicure or not. It has lost it's specialness.

Some say, "You should schedule a walk into your day," or "Go to a yoga class each week." Both would make me feel good, but eventually they will also become "commitments" that I will eventually resent. "Scheduling" in true relaxation time just doesn't do it for me. I need unexpected or minimally planned "me" time. I anticipated having two "alone" days this week. I now have four! What an amazing, precious gift!

Our recent Guest Blogger, Holly Sklar, made the same point. She described "Date Night" with her husband as almost another task on the "To Do" list. She stated that the thrill and excitement of it, especially after a full, busy week, felt like another chore. Even as couples, relaxation time together is no longer what it used to be. As she pointed out, as a Later Mom, parenting, having a full or part time job, and running a home, drain the life out of you. And as she admitted, she almost resents her children for it, even though she loves them passionately.

So where does this leave us? If we schedule in some pampering or relaxation time, we risk having it turn into a chore. If we don't schedule it in, we get drained, cranky, and worn down. There needs to be a happy medium.

I found, especially through this unexpected gift of alone time, that by asking for it may be the best solution. When you are feeling the need to escape, ask your mate to watch the kids while you hit the gym. If you are run down and need a massage, hire a babysitter or ask a friend to watch your kids. If the sight of books and toys strewn across the room make you want to scream and cry at the same time, ask to get a manicure while the family eats dinner. And while you are asking, request that the dishes and pans get cleaned as well so as not to "smudge" your pretty fingers. All of these unexpected gifts of time will be so much more meaningful and needed at the times when you need them most! They will feel like gifts instead of chores! You will be nurturing your own body, mind and soul.

Lastly, though, reciprocate. A Mom friend of mine who has a son the same age, had my son over for a six hour playdate! I was at a stress point where I needed alone time very desperately. In turn, I took her son for a six hour playdate this past weekend. I could tell that she was equally grateful to have gotten a large chunk of time for herself as well. 

It all boils down to what we need, when we need it, and to find a way to get that need fulfilled. Our lives are over planned as it is. So try to get your own unexpected time in. You might be surprised at how easy and effective it can be. If you are even luckier, a roadblock, like my Hurricane, will come along, allowing you to indulge in your alone time just a little bit longer! I'm certainly enjoying mine!

Cara's Fun Finds

We've been getting quite a few exciting products for kids here at MotherhoodLater.com! 

I'd like to share some of these with you!

Jungle Speed

There is a new game that has already taken Europe by storm! Jungle Speed is now available in America with more than two million games already sold. Developed by the company Asmodee, Jungle Speed is a fast, quick thinking game using lightening fast reflexes. The object of the game is for the opponents to be quick enough to get rid of their cards by grabbing a bright yellow totem in the middle.

I played Jungle Speed with my son, husband and Mother-in-Law. After a quick reading of the instructions to each player, we were off, flipping cards and racing to grab the coveted totem! My son had the most fun, partially because his reflexes were quickest! We all had fun, though, trying to flip our cards in creative ways, matching symbols and trying to grab that totem! Needless to say, my son won several rounds. We all had fun, though, trying to get the totem and rid our cards to win!

Jungle Speed is for ages 8+

Playing time: 15 minutes (although we far exceeded that!)

Includes a cloth bag, 80 cards, one totem and one rule book.

This game retails for $19.99 and is currently available at Toys "R" Us, Target, Walmart and other major and individual retailers across the country.

For a game play video, check out:

http://us.Asmodee.com/resources/video/?video=156

The Adventures of Bella & Harry

Let's Visit Venice!

By Lisa Manzione

The Adventures of Bella and Harry is a picture book series that takes the young reader through excursions of a dog named Bella, her little brother Harry and their family. Together they travel the world exploring new, exciting cities. These two lovable Chihuahuas travel the world while allowing readers to learn and appreciate different countries and understand each country's cultural diversity.

The "Bella and Harry" series is an informative, interactive and exciting way to introduce children to travel. As the pups visit other countries, they learn about the customs, history and exciting landmarks. The series explores locations both domestically as well as internationally.

In this second book of the series, Bella and Harry visit Venice, Italy. My son (age 8) read the book to me and giggled his way through the escapades! The part my son said he loved the most was when Harry ran off after a flock of pigeons! I presume because my son does the same, he could relate to the excitement and difficulty in catching a bird! 

The artwork in this book, illustrated by Kristine Lucco is gorgeous! The stunning illustrations certainly enhance the beauty of the story as Bella and Harry travel through Italy.

My son picked up on two interesting aspects about Italy through the illustrations; First, that Italy is shaped like a boot, as the story describes and a beautiful illustration portrays; Second, my son remembered that the cultural colors of Italy are green, white and red! I was impressed that he remembered both pieces of information!

This book covers a multitude of facts about Italy including the use of gondolas, visiting St. Mark's Square and learning what a Patron Saint is. The pups also learned about Rialto Bridge and "Carnivale de Venezia" with it's elaborate masks! The book ends with a short list of fun Italian phrases and useful words.

For more information about Bella and Harry and to see more fun, visit their website at: BellaandHarry.com.

This book is published by Trimark Press, Inc. 

Reading level would be ideal for ages 4+ with a more comprehensive understanding for ages 8+.

KIDZ BOP 20

With more than eleven million KIDZ BOP CDs sold, one Platinum Record, and 9 Gold Records, KIDZ BOP is the number one music brand in the U.S.! Their latest CD, 

KIDZ BOP 20 is sure to be another hit!

KIDZ BOP 20 is celebrating it's 10th Anniversary with a new class of talented kids performing well known songs such as:

Born This Way

Perfect

Never Say Never

Who Says

and

The Lazy Song

We played this CD at my son's recent birthday party. The guests went wild and broke out in hip-hop moves and sang the songs they knew! I was so excited that this CD added a fun and exciting dimension to my son's party that was completely unexpected!

Additionally, we went to the website, KIDZBOP.com where we listened to birthday themed celebrity shout outs, watched video props and investigated fun activities as part of the "Official KIDZ BOP Birthday Bash Super Contest"! It was a very cool website!

KIDZBOP is available at KIDZBOP SHOP and iTunes

Appropriate for children ages 5 - 12




Thanks to the companies featured for providing product samples.

   

My Misunderstood Child

"Shades of the prison-house begin to close

Upon the growing boy..."

- Wordsworth

Every August, before school begins for the new year, my son is retested for his myriad learning disabilities. We chose August because as parents, we want to know how our son is doing immediately prior to school beginning. By doing this, we can discuss with the school what services my son would possibly need. For the past two years, the professionals have recommended intensive services and interventions for my son. 

This year, my son scored the lowest he ever had before on each of the different assessments. Each professional was outraged that, despite their strong indication for intensive services, my son has been given the smallest amount of services possible.

My husband and I had requested meetings with the principal and administrators, whom all blatantly disregarded our requests. Now my son is in jeopardy of failing out of third grade without having even stepped into his new classroom.

We will once again ask to meet with the administrators of my son's school to see whether they will comply with the lengthy list of accommodations my son will need. By law, the school has 30 days to begin to act on our request. If nothing is being done, we were given the name of a lawyer who works with cases such as ours, in our school district, to advocate what is needed for our son. We understand that this lawyer is a "wolf." I think that a "wolf" lawyer is a perfect match for our school district.

Ever since I started to prepare appointments to be made for my son, I have been reading a book called, "The Unromantic Child," written as a memoir by Priscilla Gilman about her disabled son. Even with it's unusual title, this book had been calling me. I kept seeing advertisements for it. The author did interviews about it. For some reason, I just couldn't get this book out of my mind. I ended up buying it.

I won't reveal the details of the book, other than to say that if you are the parent of a Special Needs child, you should read this book. I haven't finished it yet, however I feel that this book resonates my life with my son. It also validates many of the feelings that a parent of a Special Needs child goes through, especially a Mother. Ms. Gilman writes, "Life is a wild roller-coaster right now and I am hanging on for dear life. To think that after all the work and time I invested into finding ways to help my son, the fact that it may not work out is extremely dispiriting and scary." She goes on to say, "How very much I love him, how much I want him to be happy, how agonizing it is to think of him suffering and unable to express himself because of his language issues. There is nothing I wouldn't do for him but I'm not sure what to do, and that is the most frustrating thing of all."

I know exactly how she feels. I wake up every single day wondering how I can better manage my son. Can I do anything more than I am doing to see my son exceed. My son happens to also be very bright. Every professional that has tested him has uttered those very words. What must it feel like to be aware of the fact that certain things you learn come so easily for you, it almost seems like osmosis? On the other hand, because you are so aware, you just can't comprehend why simple things, such as reading and writing seem so "natural" to those around you, yet you just can't do it, no matter how hard you try? I am in constant wonder as to what that must seem like. It would be one thing if my child had deficiencies across the board. But to know that he identifies his deficiencies and they don't make sense to him, breaks my heart even more. What must it appear like having a discussion about how the earth moves in two different ways, yet be unable to even be able to spell "planet." I simply just cannot imagine.

I remain steadfast in my optimism. As Ms. Gilman relates, "In the last month, I've realized in a way I never had before that this is and will be my life - this day-to-day work on and for my son. He will improve and develop and there will be many rewarding moments. But he has a lifelong disability and he will always need loads of effort on his behalf, both in every single interaction with him and with his teachers and therapists. It can be extremely exhausting and overwhelming...But the blessings of being his mother far outweigh the worry and stress and fatigue. Truly he has made me infinitely stronger, more patient, and compassionate person. I can do this. But I will need all the support and love I can get behind me." I am eternally thankful for all the support that I have garnered over the years, as well.

I am interested and eager to see what this school will be doing for my son this year. I am especially relieved that I will be able to call on "Mr. Wolf" lawyer if needed. Based on past experience with this school, I intend to be having conversations with "Mr. Wolf" within the next month or so. This is a huge relief. The "fight" in me is always there, but I end up entirely worn at the end of it. It's the same with my divorce lawyer. I get upset about issues, call my lawyer, she takes care of them. I go on my merry way. I want the same from "Mr. Wolf." Let him write letters, make calls and fight the school administrators. It will be one less constant anxiety to live with. I can already feel the tension release in my body.

As for my son. He is persistent and unrelenting. If he wants something badly enough, he will find a way to make it happen. Like opening a "child proof," empty medication container today. He constantly amazes me. I anticipate he always will.

"A temper known to those, who, after long

And weary expectation, have been blest

With sudden happiness beyond all hope."

- Wordsworth, "Nutting"