Cara’s Holiday Stress Relievers - by Cara Potapshyn Meyers

Dream Water

Dream Water is the first all natural sleep enhancer. It is perfect for Motherhood Later...Than Sooner readers, especially during the holiday season. Just in time for holiday travel! With everyone running around getting ready to celebrate, we could all use good nights of sleep!

Dream Water helps you relax and fall asleep fast and has zero calories, no preservatives and natural active ingredients (GABA, Melatonin, 5-HTP). Dream Water is TSA approved in its 2.5 oz shot, which makes it the perfect travel companion.

My husband tried Dream Water versus his usual melatonin tablet. He reported that he fell asleep faster and felt that he slept more solidly. He also loves all natural products, so he plans to purchase Dream Water in bulk. 

We were given samples of Lullaby Lemon and Pineapple flavors. The pineapple flavor was my husband’s favorite! He said the lemon had a nice, soothing taste to it, however. Dream Water also comes in Snoozeberry.

Bill Clinton, Cate Blanchett, Alec Baldwin, Bruce Willis, Kristin Chenowith, Katherine McPhee & Khloe Kardashian, are all fans of Dream Water, along with over 70 Million Americans who can’t sleep.

Dream Water is excited to announce a retail alliance with CVS/Pharmacy making Dream Water available in over 20,000 points of sale nationwide! Dream Water can be found in Walmart, Walgreens, Hudson News, Duane Reade as well as airport retailers. The Dream Water website is: www.drinkdreamwater.com. Or “like” them on Facebook at www.facebook.com/dreamwater.

Shanti Generation:

Yoga Skills for Youth Peacemakers

Yoga, practiced by nearly 14 million American adults, has developmental benefits for young people that can help develop self-confidence, combat obesity, and support academic achievement. Yoga has helped children with ADHD, Autism and chronic disease to stay physically healthy and mentally focused.  

Abby Wills, MA, is a Southern California yoga instructor, who holds an MA in Education and has 15 years of hands-on experience working in schools. Her unique insights enable her to understand the specific needs of the educator and the day-to-day classroom experience as well as developing tools for a teacher without a yoga background. She has developed an innovative yoga program created in tandem with seven Los Angeles teenagers and set to soothing music by Aaron Wills (aka P-Nut), the bassist of the rock band, 311. The result, SHANTI GENERATION. 

This DVD is making it easier to introduce the lifelong benefits of yoga into schools by making it classroom friendly. With the help of young teens, Abby Wills developed a transformational new yoga program to help tweens and teens develop confidence and strength while cultivating inner peace and mindfulness. The first DVD in the series, ‘YOGA SKILLS FOR YOUTH PEACEMAKERS,’ offers invaluable tools for children ages 7-16  and is now on DVD at major retail outlets as well as its five digital “pathways” available on VOD platforms.

“Shanti,” means “peace” in Sanskrit. In fact, says Wills, “We plan to build a movement by teaching young people peacemaking skills, to build a world that respects and celebrates differences in effort to create a culture of peace and unity. The yoga program we developed cultivates social and emotional learning, or SEL, through mindfulness practices including movement, breathing and meditation. Each practice is offered in a context directly relevant to the developmental needs of adolescent youth, unlike yoga DVDs created for adults or young kids. In particular, the program is designed to empower teens to cope with real life challenges, including bullying.”

DVD FEATURES:

·         Over 30 unique options for beginner and experienced yogis:

o       5 unique half-hour practice sequences: Creating Happiness, Energy Amplified, Choosing Peace, Being Sound and Voice Choice Possibility  

o       Library of Poses: 18 mini sequences for Focus, Energy and Calm 

o       Breathing Room: 5 sequences featuring stress management and self-regulation.

o       Self-Connection Room: two mindful awareness practices.

·         Interviews with the seven teen yoga students.

·         Optional narration in Spanish and Japanese.

DIGITAL PATHWAYS AVAILABLE ON VOD:

Five segments, each between twenty to thirty minutes, are available to purchase download or rent online on portals such as Netflix, iTunes, and Amazon.  These pathways include:

1. Creating Happiness: Looking for happiness? Get flexible! Breathe and move your way into happiness with forward bends for flexibility. True happiness comes through shining health.
2. Energy Amplified: Balancing and core strengthening postures give you what no energy drink ever can: sustainable body energy to power your life. Get strong, be healthy.
3. Choosing Peace: Peace is a behavior you can choose at any moment, no matter what. Get your mind on board with your breath for a peaceful journey through standing poses, backbends and forward bends designed to empower you to find your own peace inside.
4. Being Sound: Twist, bend and relax your way to deep peace. To be sound is to be free and secure at the same time. Be vibrant and radiate peace.
5. Voice Choice Possibility: Take a moment to remember what you really want and fuel up on positive energy to make your dreams come true. Breathe, visualize and move the way you want to feel.

If you have a child or tween stressed out from exams and an overload of projects before the Winter Recess, buy your child the gift of inner peace. And join them! You could probably use a little inner peace as well!

The DVD retails for $16.95  and is 90 minutes long. For more information and updates, please visit: www.cinemalibrestudio.com.

Note: Thanks to Cinema Libre Studio and Jonesworks, Inc. for providing sample products.  Cara Potapshyn Meyers and MotherhoodLater.com assume no liability relative to products reviewed in this blog.

All About “No”

I had the pleasure of attending another lecture by Lisa Levine-Bernstein, MSN, RN, FNP, at one of our local Long Island Chapter, Motherhood Later, Meet-Up dinners a few weeks ago. The topic being discussed was, “How to Say ‘No’ to Your Child.” I unknowingly started our discussion by asking Lisa why she had chosen a parenting decision she made, at the previous Meet-Up lecture she gave. The issue was about saying “No” to her teenage daughter who wanted to get a tattoo. Lisa’s decision was to provide her sixteen-year-old with medical risks related to getting a tattoo and having her daughter ponder whether she might not like the tattoo in 10 years. Lisa also discussed with her daughter choosing a less conspicuous location for the tattoo, should it be visible to prospective employers or even graduate school interviewers. Lisa then said she told her daughter that on her 18th birthday, when she was legally an adult, her daughter could decide whether she still wanted the tattoo or not. When she turned 18, Lisa’s daughter ran to get a tattoo.

Since that first lecture with Lisa, I agreed with every parenting strategy Lisa discussed (I read too many parenting books). However, I don’t think I would have done what Lisa did, in making her daughter wait 2 years to get a tattoo. Knowing my son, who sounds very similar in personality to Lisa’s daughter, I would have presented all of the risks involved, including taking him to a dermatologist’s office to learn how painful and difficult getting a tattoo removed would be, get advice from other sources who were more knowledgeable about tattoos than me, then let him decide if he still really wanted one. If he did, I would set limits on size, design and location, but I ultimately would let him have one. I know my son well enough to know that if I made him wait 2 years, at the stroke of midnight on his 18th birthday, he would get one. And it would be the biggest, most obnoxious and conspicuous tattoo you have ever laid eyes on. But that’s my son and that’s his personality. Lisa said that there was nothing wrong with my parenting decision, especially when you know your child as well as I do.

This lecture emphasized much more. At one point, Lisa asked how many mothers had been told by their child that their child hated them. I was the only one who hadn’t ever had my child tell me he hated me. I also explained why. When my son is angry with me, for whatever reason, I “beat him to the punch.” While he is still enraged, but before he can lash out at me, I say to him, “I know you are really mad at Mommy right now...and that’s okay. But I made my decision for a good reason and I am still going to say no.” By doing this, it let’s my son off the hook emotionally by being allowed to “hate me,” if he wants. It’s a little difficult to tell someone you hate her when they’ve already taken your words from you. I’ve also found that this technique diffuses a heated confrontation considerably. My child lives for initiating power struggles. I’ve learned (finally!) how to nip it in the bud before it escalates. Thank goodness I found something that works. I went through too many years of almost daily torments. Lisa liked how I handled my “challenging” child.

Lisa gave us suggestions of how to say, “No” effectively:

Make “No” a positive. Example: “You can have your treat just as soon as we finish eating dinner,” or “Of course you can watch TV...just as soon as you put your toys away.” This way, the “no” is really coming across as a “yes,” as long as the child complies.

Towards the end of the lecture, I made a suggestion that Lisa loved. If you have a child who gets easily sidetracked (like mine) and forgets to brush his teeth in the morning or doesn’t bring home all of the required books for school to do homework each day, I came up with a visual plan. I took pictures of my son doing his morning routine of getting dressed, washing face, combing hair, brushing teeth, and put them on a piece of poster board. This way my son could visually see what he needed to do next and eliminate his “sidetracking.” I did the same with his books for school. He had to make sure that he brought home different books, plus his folder, on different days. I took photos of each book and his folder and printed out mini pictures of these books. I made a Monday - Friday chart of the books my son needed for each day, glued the pictures to the page, and made multiple copies of that one page to stick in my son’s folder. He would check the chart as he was packing up for the day, and we rarely had to worry that something he needed to do his homework with was forgotten at school. Thus, no need to say, “no” to TV or using the computer as a consequence for forgetting his school items.

Everyone’s child is unique and incredible in his or her own way. Lisa said to seek out this “good” in your child to build up your child’s sense of self-esteem. Rather than say to your child, “You did a great job!” specify what the child did that made that job so great! Did they hit the ball so hard that they made a home run? Did they do a near perfect dive off the diving board? Did they choose colors for Legos that you probably would never have thought to combine, but looked terrific together as your child’s “work of art?" Praise them for these specific things. This way, when you do have to say “no,” your child will understand that you are being fair in dishing out that “no” because you also recognize when they also do some amazing things. But don’t overdo it. Use this technique modestly and appropriately. Let them get a sense that, “nobody is perfect.”

Finally, Lisa discussed the most important part of saying “no.” Don’t be wishy-washy and don’t give in. Once your child sees that you can stand your ground, but also realizes that you can recognize their achievements, they will test you less and power struggles will dissipate. Sometimes “no” is “no.” End of story. But it’s also okay to say to your child, “I need time to think about my decision. I will get back to you.” You know your child best. Pick and choose the “no” strategies that you think will work for your child. And if one technique doesn’t work, try another. After all, one size does not fit all.

If you would like to speak with Lisa directly or send her a question via e-mail:

Contact Lisa Levine-Bernstein, MSN, RN, FNP. E-mail: Parentingsuccessfulchildren@juno.com or by phone at (516) 423 - 9918.

And if you live on Long Island or NYC, come join us for a nice Mom’s Night Out, when posted! We all learn so much from the speakers and among ourselves! And we deserve our own night out!

What to Do? What to Do?

I’ve been having a rather stressful past several days. And not only did I let something slide, which I shouldn’t have done, but I also allowed my son to outright lie to me without calling him out on it. And now I am stuck in two extremely awkward and important predicaments.

For the third time within three months, my dog had to be admitted into the animal hospital. Thank goodness, no surgery was needed. However he was retching and vomiting but needed strong antibiotics badly, thus he needed to stay in the hospital to have them given intravenously. They ruled out certain diagnoses, however the Medical team needed to do an ultrasound on my dog on Monday to rule out anything further. This was all on Saturday.

On Sunday, my son and I had a Motherhood Later event to attend mid-afternoon at the NY Hall of Science (and we had a wonderful time!), but I was stuck with an ultra energetic child for the entire morning. I actually thought this kid was going to stick to the ceiling.

My son has a friend at school whom my husband and I do not approve of. This child has bullied my son by throwing balls at him until my son had to cower. He also coaxed my son into drawing a picture that almost had my son thrown out of the after school program both boys attend. We realize that we can’t separate the boys while they are in school, but we had put a stop to playdates outside of school because we noticed my son had been developing an “attitude” the more time he spent with this boy and was using what I call, “bathroom vocabulary,” more after he had spent time with this other child. My husband and I successfully pulled the no playdate rule off, but now it is back...in full force.

My son wanted to go to our local park and ride his scooter with this boy the morning of the Motherhood Later event, which was in the afternoon. My husband and I had discussed allowing our son to go to the park with this boy for the whole week prior to Sunday. In my last discussion with our son, I told him that it was not a good idea. My husband, in a conversation at a different time, had told my son the same thing. I confirmed with my husband that the two boys were not to go to the park. End of story. Lesson #1: With important issues, have a family meeting where all members of the family are present to avoid the next issue I still am unsure how to deal with...lying.

On Sunday morning, my son was hounding me to call his friend’s mother to see when they could go to the park. I reiterated that we were not going to go to the park to play with his friend. Then came the lie: “But Daddy said that I could go to the park,” which I knew was a blatant lie. There were also other issues circling at that moment. Firstly, I was a nervous wreck about my dog and was awaiting a call from the Animal Hospital to get an update. Secondly, I knew at that very moment, my husband was in a boxing class at the gym and would never hear his phone ringing, so it was pointless to call to “confirm” that my husband had given him permission. Third, my son needed to get out of the house and use up some of his pent up energy. I made a rash decision. I let the lie slide and called the other boy’s Mom. I explained to her that my dog was in the hospital and that I needed to stay home because I was awaiting a call from the  hospital with an update. I asked if she minded picking my son up and bringing the boys to the park (a block away from my house), and told her that I would come get my son around noon to feed him lunch. She called around 11:30am and said the boys were hungry and asked if she could take them both to her house to feed them. I agreed simply because it was one less thing I had to do or think about. The Animal Hospital had already called and said my dog was stable but still having vomiting issues.

I finally picked up my son to go to the Motherhood Later event, and sighed in relief that the playdate was over. But the lying issue was still hanging over my head and I also opened up a can of worms by not standing my ground and saying no to the playdate. Now my son is going to want more playdates with this child whom I am not terribly fond of. It is a good thing that I have full days planned for my son and I the next two Sundays. But I am going to have to think long and hard (and get some knowledgeable advice) about how to go about dealing with the lying and trying to prevent future playdates with my son’s friend. What to do, what to do?

As an aside, my dog is home and slowly improving. Thank goodness one thing is going in the right direction! 

Derby Disappointment

Last week, I attended a dinner / parenting workshop with some of the local, Long Island chapter, Motherhood Later Moms. It was a wonderful event, with an equally wonderful speaker, Lisa Levine-Bernstein. During Lisa’s presentation, among many other important topics, the issue of praise came up. I have read many times in my 20-odd parenting books that when you praise a child for any reason, it should always be specific. As an example, if your child comes home with a picture they drew at school, instead of saying, “Great job!” you should instead say, “Wow! I love the colors you chose for the butterfly!” It gives the child positive feedback regarding their work and makes it specific enough so that they can use that information in many other ways in the future.

We also discussed praise in terms of the amount, frequency and times when you know your child could do a better job. Lisa’s advice was to try not to over praise your child because then they begin to expect it. Try to dish out praise modestly and with sincerity. And the point that hit home for me was giving your child feedback when you know he or she could have done a better job. You want to tell them that although they did well, they could possibly have done better. This gray area has always been a difficult one for me.

My son belongs to our local Boy Scouts troop. And I must admit, although I have never attended a meeting, from what I gather from my husband and other parents, my son’s “pack” is highly disorganized and unstructured. So unstructured that while most other troops were given notice weeks ahead of time that the yearly Pinewood Derby Car event would be taking place this past weekend, my son’s “pack” was given less than 2 weeks notice.

Now, for those of you who know nothing about these Derby races, there is a lot of work involved, mostly of the parental type. You have to go out and buy a Boy Scout approved Derby kit. Then the parent has to not only have the access, but time and tools to carve out a car from a block of wood, sand it, paint it, seal it, decorate it, and, most importantly, make sure that it falls within a very precise weight range. And you can purchase weights to add to the car if it falls short of this range. Well, my son had all of a week and a half to work on this car with his father and grandfather. And as you can see, they created quite an impressive car given the short amount of time they had to complete it!

The day of the race came this past Sunday. My son was so excited, he had his full Boy Scout uniform on at 8 am! We didn’t even have to be at the event until 1 pm! But my son insisted on keeping his uniform on the whole morning and ate very little so that he wouldn’t “mess up” his clothes.

We arrived at the event just on time. His car had to be weighed to make sure that it met the weight requirements. It passed. Then there was more waiting. The older troops had their cars race first. And because this was a district race, each district had to have their cars race, slowly weaning out the cars that didn’t finish within the top three. And this arduous process continued, filtering down to the younger troops.

Since my son was in the next to youngest group, we literally had to wait close to 2 hours before his car was up. It was torture for my poor son. Then, at long last, it was my son’s turn for his car!

They announced which lane his car would be in; I had my video camera poised and ready. Then down came the cars in a flash! My son placed third! He was eligible to compete against other cars once the slower cars were weaned out!

His car was up again. He placed third twice in a row! This was a good omen because if you stay in the top three, you continue to race the other cars that also placed first, second or third!

Again, they called his name and slot his car would be in! I tried crossing my toes because I had to hold the video camera! Down came the Derbies!

My son’s car came in fourth place. His car was now disqualified. He was beyond devastated. He sat leaning against me, tears running down his sweet face, mumbling, “But I came in third twice! Why did they have to take my car out?!” He didn’t want to hear nor need explanations. He needed to cry. He needed to let out his frustration. He needed time to work through his feelings.

Then all of a sudden, I remembered back to the dinner I went to a few days prior. I recalled the speaker saying, “Emphasize the positive. Focus on how well your child did this time as opposed to previous times. Be a role model for perseverance rather than giving up!”

I took my son aside to a quiet bench. I gave him some water and let him allow his disappointment to slowly pass. When I felt he was ready, I asked him what position his Derby car placed last year. He replied fifth and sixth. I said, “Guess what?! You placed in the top three twice this year!! If you were able to accomplish that, do you think you might place higher next year?” He just shrugged his shoulders, not quite over his dismay. So I said, “Why don’t we find out when the Derby race will be next year way ahead of time? That way you, Daddy and Poppy can prepare in advance. We’ll also do a little research and try to find out what makes certain Derby cars faster than others. We will be much better prepared for next year’s event!” My son’s face brightened. “Mommy? Will you help me go on the computer when we get home so that we can find out how to make the cars go faster??”  “We certainly can, Sweetheart!” I replied. My son’s mood began to lift. “Mommy? I’m hungry now...can we get some pizza?” Off we went in search for some fuel for my son’s body. Because of the parenting session I attended, I felt pretty confident that I had pretty successfully fueled his soul! My “gray area” was becoming a little more colorful, too!

Having Fun on Facebook

I must admit. I have absolutely no holiday spirit whatsoever. In fact, I was going to write this blog about my lethargic attitude regarding the Holidays and title it, “Skipping Christmas.” Then something unexpected, magical and all out FUN happened on Facebook a few nights ago!

I know many of you use Facebook as a source to either connect with friends and/or relatives. I do the same. Some of you even use it as a business avenue, as Motherhood Later does. Then there are those of us who love to play a couple of the games on Facebook. Yes, I hear the groans. But keep reading because you will at least enjoy the story!

I am a Farmville devote (I hear more groans, but also some cheers!). Since my life has been a whirlwind of chaos and stress over the past year and a half, I have gone onto Facebook and entered my farm site and when I am there, it is almost as if I am living in a different world. I can pick and choose how I want to decorate my farm. Decide what I want to participate in. And feel a sense of accomplishment as I watch my farm grow and beautify.

I started out with about three farm neighbors. Your farm neighbors help you tend to your farm and you reciprocate. Over this past year and a half, I have resurrected a forgotten friendship with a friend I worked with years ago. I also have her husband as a neighbor. This friend introduced me to several other farmers who wanted neighbors...people I’ve never met, but have had lovely conversations with outside of Farmville through the messaging medium. My best friend is my neighbor and has asked if I would take on several of her farm neighbors as well. They are funny, sweet people I would have never have met or known otherwise. I even have a set of teen twins as neighbors! Who would have thought??

There also seem to be patterns as to when certain neighbors play. There is the early morning group who play before they go to work (I know because my iPhone “dings” when they leave me a message on my farm site!). There are the mid-late afternoon players who want to get their “fix” in before they have to settle into their evening routines. Then there are the late night/early morning farmers. I typically fall into this category as my son doesn’t fall asleep until close to 10pm. Finally there are the “night owls,” who don’t start playing until 1am and go to 3 or 4am (again, my phone dings, so I know!).

Well, a few nights ago, I started out as a late-nighter, and ended up a “night owl!” Farmville puts various “missions” out at random points in time. Usually these missions involve collecting materials from your neighbors to build a barn or expand a chicken coop, etc. On this particular night, out came something new and different! This new mission was to build a snowman and have a snowball fight while you are doing it! I was having such a blast throwing snowballs at neighbors as they were quickly throwing them back, virtually! There must have been at least a half dozen of us playing all at the same time! You could barely get a snowball message posted when another snowball was virtually coming your way! At 1 am, no less! I was giggling and enjoying myself with my Farm Friends immensely!

The following morning, I entered my farm getting virtually smacked in the face by the early risers! The fun continued!

So, although I still may not be in the Holiday spirit, this game has certainly gotten me into the Winter spirit! At this point, I’ll take any spirit I can get!

(“Splat”...Ugh! They got me again!)

The Conundrum Over Wine Glasses

I am currently in the midst of a heated debate regarding a set of wine glasses I gave to a close friend recently. I first saw them on a Facebook group site called,

“OMG, I so need a glass of wine, or I’m gonna sell my kids!!”

This group has a following of 109,646 fans. So I am obviously not the only one who can relate to this group! I bought a pair of these glasses with the full group tag imprinted on the wine glasses for myself, as well as a pair that just said, “OMG, I so need a glass of wine!” A friend saw these and LOVED them, so I bought her a set, with the complete logo as a gift, and she frequently calls or texts me that she is pulling out those glasses after the kids are asleep!

Enter one of my other close friends. She typically has bottles of wine and wine coolers lined up on top of her refrigerator. And she frequently mentions that as soon as her son goes to bed, she is having a tall glass of wine. Well, I thought that these “OMG” wine glasses would be great for her to have too! I even bought her the ones that just said,”OMG, I so need a glass of wine,” just in case she didn’t want to use the ones with the reference towards selling your kids with certain company. Well, as it turned out, she was appalled. And she needed to mention that not only was SHE appalled, she showed the glasses to her family and fiends and they were appalled as well! I apologized for offending her and offered to take the glasses back or suggest that she give them away or even throw them out if they offended her so much. She said that she wanted to keep them (?).

I was then forwarded an article by one of our other Motherhood Later bloggers regarding the issue of Mom’s needing a drink at the end of the day to take the edge off,

“All Joy and No Fun...Why Parents Hate Parenting,”

from New York Magazine. This article quotes a Mom who states, “The Children’s Museum of Manhattan - a nice place, but what it really needs is a bar.” This is just not a select group of Moms who fall into this category. There are Parenting Podcasts where the hosts readily admit to needing a drink of wine at the end of the day. There are Parenting Forums where literally hundreds of Moms admit that parenting is far from easy and that a drink at the end of the day helps them to unwind.

I need to add that I am not at all pro-drinking. In fact, I rarely drink at all due to the plethora of medications I take. And I am definitely not advocating drinking to such excess that it begins to impair your life or you need it to get through each day. But a glass of wine now and then, or socially, I believe is perfectly acceptable. Especially when you come home at the end of the day and find a myriad of toys strewn around, crayon marks on the walls, a bathroom that is drenched from you child wanting to give their stuffed animals a bath (and end up wrapped in your child’s sheets to “dry off,” i.e. remake bed). I can see wanting to grab something to relax you before you try to calmly deal with each of these issues.

So back to my wine glasses. What do you think? I gave them to one friend who adores them and one friend who is horrified by them. I guess having glasses that indicate that you would want to sell your kids is a bit much. And I don’t think I will be giving them as gifts to any other friends, unless upon specific request. But considering the circumstances, was I reading into my appalled friend a little too much, and subtly indicating that she has a drinking problem (which I certainly was not), or was she over reacting to what I considered a humorous, harmless gift?

Please give me your feedback. I am interested to know what you think.

In Support of Support Groups

I tend to be a quiet and reserved type...not terribly outgoing and mildly social. But for some reason, I am attracted to support groups. Particularly support groups for Moms.

Since my son was an infant, I participated in a myriad number of different groups. Some groups were informative, but I didn’t “click” with most of the Moms. Other groups had members who I felt had different issues and/or a focus to the group that I just wasn’t looking for.

I was thrilled to find Motherhood Later Than Sooner because not only did I find a lovely group of Moms I have kept in contact with, but my son has become friendly with some of the sons of other “Later” Moms as well!

This past weekend, I went away with a large group of Moms on what I term a “Mommy Retreat.” There were quite a large group of us...150 to be exact, and I found comfort being amongst so many diverse but dedicated Moms.

There were workshops where we each had a turn to divulge a dirty little secret about being neglectful about our mothering. I happened to have divulged SEVERAL dirty little secrets! And the bonding and camaraderie that was taking place in that room at that moment allowed each and every one of us to say, “We ARE good mothers! We’re just not perfect ALL of the time! It was so refreshing to say out loud, “I slack off occasionally and my child still survives!!” Some participants were even trying to “one up” the one who “confessed” before them! We all left, happy, giggling, with a huge weight lifted off our shoulders!

There was also a woman comic who had the entire audience falling over with laughter as she played out daily scenarios that occurred in her home, tongue-in-cheek style! What a great way to start out the retreat and break the ice regarding all the taboos that go on in each person’s household, but no one wants to dare bring the topics up! Well, this lively comic did, and we cheered her on endlessly!

I left this retreat saying goodbye to friends old and new. Learning more about myself and learning more about other miscellaneous topics such as social media! But I mostly reinforced that I love to come together with a group of Moms who understand the pressures of parenting and want to help each other through it as well as spend time remembering who WE are as people, as individuals, and not just someone’s wife or mother!

I came home to a Parenting Workshop to go to at my son’s school the very next day where we really got into a hot debate about parenting and homework issues. Some Moms literally couldn’t understand why homework wasn’t “fun” in every household. Other’s of us moaned in agony just thinking about doing homework with our child. I exclaimed that I had such a horrendous year with my son last year that just THINKING of homework this year gave me post traumatic stress disorder symptoms! This one Mom shot back, “Well, then you’re just doing something wrong.” It was a good thing that the social worker moderating the group knew of my struggles last year and effectively put this other Mom in her place. Still and all, I came out of this workshop empowered and ready to take on the task of parenting in a way only I know is effective with my child!

The NY chapter of Motherhood Later Than Sooner will soon try to gather interested parents into support groups with a highly educated facilitator. I was at a group this facilitator ran and found it filled with energy and bonding where we all wanted to jump into the conversation at once! It was invigorating! I left feeling better about myself than when I first arrived! Maybe you’d like to give a support group a try? And if one isn’t a good fit, move on to another. As for me, I am looking forward to participating in the NY chapter support group and see how it turns out! As they say, you can always learn something new every day!