Time for Transitioning

It’s almost the end of the school year. Summer will officially be here in a week. It is time to get ready for “transitioning.”

To me, “transitioning” means making changes, both good and also a little burdensome. One thing I adore about summer is the longer days. Casual weekends. Less structure. Freedom to just “be.”

It also means a break from the stress of my son’s school and after school schedule. A break from the stress of homework and finding non-threatening ways to encourage getting the homework done. A break from the frantic race to get my son to school on time. A break from the seemingly unending “mundane.”

But with sending our son to day camp come some additional “burdens.” Instead of daily homework will be almost daily laundry. Lots of stain remover. Remembering to pack certain camp items on certain days. Sunscreen, ad nauseum. Bug spray and anti-itch remedies that actually work. And no after camp activities. Perhaps a dunk in our local pool, instead, which certainly is not a burden, especially on wickedly hot days!

I’m not sure I’m quite ready for this transitioning. I AM ready for my son to finish Second Grade. I gladly welcome the break from the insane homework. But I think I need a little vacation between school ending and day camp starting the very next week. The forms that need to be filled out. Medical forms as well. Making sure that I have at least 10 bathing suits because my son needs to take 2 to camp each day. I am desperately hoping that my son will still fit into some of the camp shirts we “accumulated” last year. Otherwise, the one camp shirt they provide for the campers needs to be washed e v e r y   s i n g l e   d a y.

I also need to transition the trunk of my car. Every summer I restock my first aid kit. I make sure I have plenty of water resistant bags to collect impromptu wet clothing from swimming excursions or water fights at a friend’s house. It also means going through the bag of clothes I keep in my trunk and take out the fall/winter/outgrown clothes and replace them with some summer items, including shoes, crocs and a rain jacket. And towels. You never know when you need extra towels.

Speaking of towels, I have surrendered sending my son to camp with expensive, colorful, monogrammed beach towels. For three years in a row now, I have had these nice towels “taken” from my son, never to be seen again. With my son’s full name monogrammed on them! In BOLD block letters! Two inches in height!! This year the nice beach towels go to the beach or the pool. Instead, my son is going to camp with old, ratty, light color towels with his name boldly printed on each side with a black laundry marker. If anyone wants them, they can have them. They were almost ready to become rags anyway.

Summer also means having to go through my and my son’s summer clothing to see what still fits and what can be given away. It also means filling our closets with the summer wear and putting our bulkier clothing into drawers or other closets. Same with shoes and coats. Right now I have in my closet cashmere sweaters mixed in with sleeveless tops. What’s wrong with this picture? I also buy clothing for my son “off season.” There’s only one problem. I often forget that I bought him certain items at greatly reduced prices, shove them in the “to grow into” drawer, and pull out 3 of the same item come next season. Which is not an entirely a waste because the “doubles” can be used for the car bags come the end of summer.

Finally, there are the “pool bags.” Expired sunscreens and insect repellants need to be tossed and replenished. Goggles and sunglasses for my son need to be checked to make sure they still fit. Various sundries need to be gone through and updated. Even the pool bags need to be inspected for overuse. I almost feel like I have to remember to replenish diaper bags after an outing!

All this transitioning for 10 weeks of summer.

But ain’t it grand?!

All About “No”

I had the pleasure of attending another lecture by Lisa Levine-Bernstein, MSN, RN, FNP, at one of our local Long Island Chapter, Motherhood Later, Meet-Up dinners a few weeks ago. The topic being discussed was, “How to Say ‘No’ to Your Child.” I unknowingly started our discussion by asking Lisa why she had chosen a parenting decision she made, at the previous Meet-Up lecture she gave. The issue was about saying “No” to her teenage daughter who wanted to get a tattoo. Lisa’s decision was to provide her sixteen-year-old with medical risks related to getting a tattoo and having her daughter ponder whether she might not like the tattoo in 10 years. Lisa also discussed with her daughter choosing a less conspicuous location for the tattoo, should it be visible to prospective employers or even graduate school interviewers. Lisa then said she told her daughter that on her 18th birthday, when she was legally an adult, her daughter could decide whether she still wanted the tattoo or not. When she turned 18, Lisa’s daughter ran to get a tattoo.

Since that first lecture with Lisa, I agreed with every parenting strategy Lisa discussed (I read too many parenting books). However, I don’t think I would have done what Lisa did, in making her daughter wait 2 years to get a tattoo. Knowing my son, who sounds very similar in personality to Lisa’s daughter, I would have presented all of the risks involved, including taking him to a dermatologist’s office to learn how painful and difficult getting a tattoo removed would be, get advice from other sources who were more knowledgeable about tattoos than me, then let him decide if he still really wanted one. If he did, I would set limits on size, design and location, but I ultimately would let him have one. I know my son well enough to know that if I made him wait 2 years, at the stroke of midnight on his 18th birthday, he would get one. And it would be the biggest, most obnoxious and conspicuous tattoo you have ever laid eyes on. But that’s my son and that’s his personality. Lisa said that there was nothing wrong with my parenting decision, especially when you know your child as well as I do.

This lecture emphasized much more. At one point, Lisa asked how many mothers had been told by their child that their child hated them. I was the only one who hadn’t ever had my child tell me he hated me. I also explained why. When my son is angry with me, for whatever reason, I “beat him to the punch.” While he is still enraged, but before he can lash out at me, I say to him, “I know you are really mad at Mommy right now...and that’s okay. But I made my decision for a good reason and I am still going to say no.” By doing this, it let’s my son off the hook emotionally by being allowed to “hate me,” if he wants. It’s a little difficult to tell someone you hate her when they’ve already taken your words from you. I’ve also found that this technique diffuses a heated confrontation considerably. My child lives for initiating power struggles. I’ve learned (finally!) how to nip it in the bud before it escalates. Thank goodness I found something that works. I went through too many years of almost daily torments. Lisa liked how I handled my “challenging” child.

Lisa gave us suggestions of how to say, “No” effectively:

Make “No” a positive. Example: “You can have your treat just as soon as we finish eating dinner,” or “Of course you can watch TV...just as soon as you put your toys away.” This way, the “no” is really coming across as a “yes,” as long as the child complies.

Towards the end of the lecture, I made a suggestion that Lisa loved. If you have a child who gets easily sidetracked (like mine) and forgets to brush his teeth in the morning or doesn’t bring home all of the required books for school to do homework each day, I came up with a visual plan. I took pictures of my son doing his morning routine of getting dressed, washing face, combing hair, brushing teeth, and put them on a piece of poster board. This way my son could visually see what he needed to do next and eliminate his “sidetracking.” I did the same with his books for school. He had to make sure that he brought home different books, plus his folder, on different days. I took photos of each book and his folder and printed out mini pictures of these books. I made a Monday - Friday chart of the books my son needed for each day, glued the pictures to the page, and made multiple copies of that one page to stick in my son’s folder. He would check the chart as he was packing up for the day, and we rarely had to worry that something he needed to do his homework with was forgotten at school. Thus, no need to say, “no” to TV or using the computer as a consequence for forgetting his school items.

Everyone’s child is unique and incredible in his or her own way. Lisa said to seek out this “good” in your child to build up your child’s sense of self-esteem. Rather than say to your child, “You did a great job!” specify what the child did that made that job so great! Did they hit the ball so hard that they made a home run? Did they do a near perfect dive off the diving board? Did they choose colors for Legos that you probably would never have thought to combine, but looked terrific together as your child’s “work of art?" Praise them for these specific things. This way, when you do have to say “no,” your child will understand that you are being fair in dishing out that “no” because you also recognize when they also do some amazing things. But don’t overdo it. Use this technique modestly and appropriately. Let them get a sense that, “nobody is perfect.”

Finally, Lisa discussed the most important part of saying “no.” Don’t be wishy-washy and don’t give in. Once your child sees that you can stand your ground, but also realizes that you can recognize their achievements, they will test you less and power struggles will dissipate. Sometimes “no” is “no.” End of story. But it’s also okay to say to your child, “I need time to think about my decision. I will get back to you.” You know your child best. Pick and choose the “no” strategies that you think will work for your child. And if one technique doesn’t work, try another. After all, one size does not fit all.

If you would like to speak with Lisa directly or send her a question via e-mail:

Contact Lisa Levine-Bernstein, MSN, RN, FNP. E-mail: Parentingsuccessfulchildren@juno.com or by phone at (516) 423 - 9918.

And if you live on Long Island or NYC, come join us for a nice Mom’s Night Out, when posted! We all learn so much from the speakers and among ourselves! And we deserve our own night out!

“Seriously Embarrassing”

A few weeks ago, I wrote a blog about how I saw a maturity in my 7/almost 8 year-old son. Somewhat a kin to a 13 year-old. Well, now I am absolutely convinced that my son is a 13 year old in a 7/almost 8-year-old body! Here’s why.

It began a couple weeks ago when he overheard some older kids at the park discussing which sleep-away camps they would be going to this summer. My son immediately approached my husband and me about going to sleep away camp this year. Considering that we already paid for the day camp he will be attending and that he hasn’t quite turned 8 years old yet, we had our reservations. Then an interesting opportunity presented itself.

The sleep away camp my husband went to when he was younger was offering “Parent Weekend” for both currently enrolled campers as well as perspective campers. My son could go for a three-day weekend with his father. He could choose to bunk with some boys at the camp or sleep in a tent with his Dad. He would participate in activities strictly for campers that weekend. “Family” activities would be offered as well. It would not only be the perfect weekend for my son to “test the water” regarding sleep away camp. It would also be on his birthday weekend - an added treat! We signed my son up with the promise that, yes, he would still have a birthday party!

Next, about a week later, I was driving my son to the store and he asked, “Mommy? Can I put the car in “park?” Knowing that I would press the emergency brake with my foot immediately upon stopping the car, I obliged. I then thought, “Next year, he’s going to want to drive this thing.” He also informed me that President Obama passed a law that stated children must be 10 years old before they can sit in the passenger seat of a car. He has also been asking numerous questions about driving and the “Rules of the Road.” Since I plan to eventually be the one who will teach my son to drive (I am a far better driver than my husband, no matter what he may think), I have been taking many opportunities to discuss and point out good versus not as good drivers. I also have to be careful of my own driving habits and speed because my “back seat driver” will point out every minor infraction I may make.

Finally, I absolutely knew that my son was “13” when, as we were driving to our local pool this past weekend. My son asked, “Mommy? When we get to the pool, can you just call me ‘Brandon’?” I knew that this day would come eventually, but not when my son was 7/almost 8! I responded to him, “You don’t want me to refer to you as ‘Sweetie’ or ‘Sweetie Pie’ or even ‘Honey’.” He nodded as I looked at him in my rear view mirror. Then he added, “And Mommy? When you pick me up from school, can you also just call me ‘Brandon’?” I promised that I would, with a small smile on my face. Then I asked, “My special names I call you embarrass you in front of your friends, huh?” He responded that they did. But he immediately followed his affirmation by specifying, “But that’s only for when we’re out, Mommy! If we are home or in the car, you can call me all those other things. It’s just that when we’re with my friends, it’s seriously embarrassing when you use those other names.” Seriously embarrassing. I expected my son to say something like this to me when he was at least 10 years old or older. But not at 7/almost 8! I chuckled to myself and thought, next year he’s going to want me to drop him off a block before where he may want to go!

Seriously embarrassing. Yes, my little boy is no longer “little.” Although I may embarrass him, he still wants me to be his “real” Mommy when we are alone. But I better keep my promise to only call him by name when we’re out! We made a “pinky promise” on it!

The Sweetness and Sorrow of Ceremonies

A couple weekends ago, my son and I went to the Communion ceremony of my best friend’s son. Considering that I had never participated in a communion ceremony and my son is being raised Jewish, this was a brand new experience for both of us.

We were escorted to chairs on the side of the alter, with the other guests, and were lucky enough to get front row seats. While we waited for the procession of children seeking Communion to arrive, my son had many questions. Why did the “bad men” do that to Jesus (nail him to the cross)? Why are the children eating those round things and all drinking out of that cup? Don’t they know they can get germs by doing that? And many other questions about the differences between the two religions. I tried to answer each of his questions as simply but as completely as possible. A daunting task when it comes to religion.

At one point, my son wanted me to put my arm around him, hugging him close. He held onto my dangling hand. He then asked, “Mommy? All of the girls look like brides. Why do they have to look like brides?” I explained that by wearing a white dress and a veil, it is as if they are “marrying” or becoming closer to God in the Church. At that moment, my son pointed to my wedding band, which I wear on my right hand, the hand he was holding. He asked, “Mommy? Is that your wedding ring?” I told him that it was. He then carefully slid it off of my finger and immediately replaced it. Then he said to me, “See, now we are married, Mommy.” There is much to analyze about this, but we’ll save that for the professionals. His gesture, however, triggered an interesting feeling in my heart. Considering that my wedding anniversary will be this coming weekend, having my son pronounce his desire to be committed to me and love me unconditionally forever, brought back those giddy feelings I felt 16 years ago when my husband put that very same ring on my finger. Only when my son did it, the feelings felt deeper and truer. This is probably attributed to the fact that a Mother and child, especially a son, have an extremely close bond. I feel that bond with my son every second of the day. But with my son symbolically wanting to “marry” me, it made me feel that, unlike his father, my son will never betray me. He will never abandon me. He will always be there for me. “In good times and in bad.” Completely unlike his father. And instead of grieving for the loss of my marriage, I felt secure that there is one person in this world who WILL be mine forever. Until death does us part. Or he finds a spouse.

My therapist warned me about little boys my son’s age going through the Oedipal Syndrome (where the little boy wants his mother all to himself, while pushing his father away from his mother). Well, his father is about as far away as he can get, right now. But I am making sure that my son knows that Daddy loves him just as much as I do. And that there is no reason to push Daddy away. I will always be here for my son. Still, my son wants me. He needs me. He knows deep down inside that I completely understand him, inside and out. So let him hang on to me for a while longer. In a couple years, I will be, “Mommy who”?

As for my anniversary, I will dig up all the fun memories from last year when I whisked myself away to the Bahamas for 5 days. I tried to go this year, but although the hotel prices were reasonable, the flights cost half an arm and a leg due to the high fuel prices and surcharges. The rates were ridiculous. So, instead, out came the t-shirts, the cheap, beachy jewelry, and the photos I took on my excursion. Last year was a milestone anniversary. I had to remove myself from this continent and distract myself with pristine beauty and fun. I got what I went for. This year will be solemn. My husband has a wedding to go to on the day we got married. I wonder how or whether that will affect him at all? In any event, I’ll spend time with my son and maybe even go to our local pool. I’ll lie on a lounge chair, close my eyes, and reflect back to my time in the Bahamas. I will be with the sweetest little man, who loves me so much, he wants to “marry” me. At this point in my life, what more could I ask for?

Keeping Up With the...Benjamins?

 The following is a direct quote from a posting on Facebook last week, written by a Mom friend of mine:

“I was just told by my kid that I’m the worst Mom ever for not buying him a new (Nintendo) DS. While that was hurtful, I told him that there is special training for that at Mom School and that I won the Best ‘Worst Mom in Training’ award! The nerve!”

This posting elicited more than fifteen responses from other supportive Moms, including me:

“My son said that there were only 4 kids in school who didn’t have (Nintendo) DS games and he was one of them. I responded by asking him, “Do they have their own laptops like you do (my hand-me-down), and not have to share them with a brother or sister? And do they have their own iPhone to play a thousand different games on (also my hand-me-down...no cell service though)? He said, Um, no.” So I told him that he was pretty lucky and privileged even without a (Nintendo) DS. That left him speechless.”

I bring this up because my husband and I have been going through this “DS Drama” for a few weeks now. And although the Mom I quoted received quite a few accolades for the creative comeback she quickly thought of, it still is not getting to the root of the problem, nor is it teaching her child where the line has been crossed. This same Mom posted after mine that although she liked my post, her kids were, “So teched out, it wasn’t even funny.” So where is that line?

I wrote a few weeks back about wanting to “fit in” with my peers at age fourteen by having Levi jeans with the leather tag on the back. But that was probably a $20 pair of jeans. Yes, expensive for jeans 30 years ago but not in comparison to a $130+ Nintendo DS, where each game costs between $15-30! There is even a service similar to Netflix called “GameFly” where you can rent games for an unlimited amount of time, but with a monthly fee attached.

My husband and I have been intensely debating this “DS” issue and how to make it purposeful. During this time, with my assistance, but with my son’s own money, he bought an accessory kit for a DS he doesn’t even own yet. I suggested he could temporarily use it to carry his iPhone in, (which he constantly misplaces. More on that in a minute), and his response was, “No, Mommy. This case is ONLY for my DS.” The one he doesn’t have yet. He also has a DS game, this time with my husband’s assistance, but with my son’s money to purchase it. (This kid has been offering and doing quite a lot of extra chores around and outside of the house).

Right now many of you are thinking, “But both you and your husband are in the position of Enablers! You are giving this child what he wants, but in a circumferous way!” Yes, and no. We made a deal with our son that he has to save up his own money to pay for half of whichever DS he wants. At a starting price of $130, that’s a lot of saving. And the cruel part of this is that Nintendo has just released a 3D DS game, which costs close to $300. And guess which kid is going to be one of only four kids in the whole school who does not have a 3D DS game, six months from now? You guessed correctly.

Now, here’s what I don’t quite understand. My son uses my old iPhone, which he plays pre-approved games on. There are probably close to 100 games on this little gadget, so you don’t have to carry (and risk losing) any of the games. Most of the games were either free or close to $.99. Many of them are quite similar to DS games. And the best part? My son’s phone is wirelessly connected to a service I have for my own iPhone, where if it gets lost, I can lock it down so that it cannot be used and even post my husband’s work number on the screen with a message saying, “If found, please call xxx....” Try doing that with a DS!

There is also another concern I have. Children with Auditory Processing Disorder and ADD, like my son, are notorious for losing and misplacing things. I can’t tell you how many mad dashes there have been, on most mornings, looking for my husband’s keys (he also has ADD). I even put up a key holder for him to put his keys on when he walked in the door. He never used it. We use it for dog leashes now. My point is, why give a kid, who is prone to misplacing/losing things, an expensive item, which has styluses which can easily get lost, game cartridges which could easily be lost, heck, the whole DS could easily be lost! But as a Mother who has continually allowed her son to take chances and face the consequences when necessary, I am allowing my son to have his DS. If he has to work to obtain it, he might covet it enough to limit losing all of the little accessories. And he will have to pay for whichever accessories he does lose. And if he loses the actual Nintendo DS, I will comfort his loss, but will not replace it.

It is going to be a few months before my son saves up enough money to buy whichever DS he chooses. In the meantime, we will be working on responsibility. Coming home with a forgotten lunch tote or rain jacket is not conducive to being a responsible person. However, my son didn’t purchase those items himself. We have an interesting test coming up in our lives.

Stay tuned...I am certain there will be more to come!

Unearthing My Inner Athlete

Growing up, I didn’t exactly consider myself anything close to being an “athlete”. However, when I entered high school, my best friend coerced me into trying out for the Swim Team. We both wanted to lose some weight and she said that you burn a lot of calories by swimming (which you do). I admit that although I made the team, I was probably the worst swimmer on the team. Not because of my ability (I could do all of the swim strokes, even the Butterfly), but as opposed to my best friend who is genetically muscular, my body likes to insulate itself with fat. My muscles are buried deep down under those layers of fat. However, I did loose some weight and the experience opened up other opportunities for my “inner athlete” to surface.

When I was in college, Aerobic Classes were all the rage. I loved them! I loved them to the point that I ended up teaching the classes at my college, and later at a health club. Those were the days before you needed to be certified to teach Aerobics Classes. By the time certification was required, I was entering a very challenging Masters program. I studied night and day, every single day. Exercise didn’t exist in my life for those two years. 

Once I graduated, I got a job and exercise again became a big part of my life. Only this time I could afford working out at health clubs. I was a regular several days a week. I even met my husband at the gym.

Then an unfortunate calamity occurred. Three months after I married, I was in a car accident that  injured my shoulder and gave me chronic pain for over four years. I had 2 years of physical therapy (back in the days when you could get more than 10 visits covered by insurance). I also tried every therapeutic modality there was - both traditional western as well as eastern medicine. By some miracle, acupuncture did the trick! I was never cured (and never will be, I still get pain now and then), but the acupuncture allowed me to at least be a part of life. I went to acupuncture for 2 years and slowly weaned off. Since I couldn’t use my upper body extensively (I had a complicated shoulder injury), I could only do types of exercise that were predominantly lower body. I found walking.

Walking became my new obsession. I even had several pedometers to use for different walks. I walked year round. And when my husband and I got dogs, we walked them to get some of their “puppy energy” out. I even did a few of the Susan B. Komen walk-a-thons. And my best friend introduced me to trail walking (I considered it hiking). We would meet once a week for our 5 mile “trail walk.” Then I became pregnant.

When I went to my first OB visit, they found out that I had high blood pressure and was immediately sent to a High Risk group of Obstetricians. My high blood pressure somehow resolved, but the high risk doctors kept cautioning me not to do too much strenuous activity. Between the insatiable tiredness the first trimester, and the coldest winter in history during my second trimester, by the time I was cleared to do some moderate walking, it was heading into summer. And by 34 weeks gestation, I had to be put on modified best rest for the duration of my pregnancy.

Then all “formal” exercise stopped. I had a colicky, reflux, non-sleeping baby which lasted a good 6 months, if not more. My son officially started to sleep for at least 5 hours at a time right before his third birthday. I was a zombie. Add to that a diagnosis of Polycystic Ovary Syndrome which caused me to gain over 50 pounds in 2 years and you have a totally burnt-out, obese, slug of a Mom. I was done with exercise. And with an over-the-top, active child, my constant fantasy was a big, fluffy pillow, cozy comforter, and a straight 7-8 hours of sleep. In fact, my first two Mother’s Day requests were exactly that. I didn’t want to go out to a fancy restaurant or celebrate with family. I wanted sleep and only sleep.

Now, five years later, and 60+ pounds lighter, I still crave sleep. However both my son and my dog are bringing out that inner athlete that has been dormant all these years. My husband used to work at home and would take our dogs on 1 - 3 mile walks practically every day. I think that contributed to their longevity and good health. Eight months ago, my husband moved his office, taking our older female dog with him, but leaving our male dog at home. Coincidentally, our male dog has needed 3 surgeries in the past 8 months. I came home one afternoon and looked at my dog who had the saddest look on his face. I immediately said to him, “Maxi...we’re going for a nice walk! No more of this lying around doing nothing. You look like you are rusting.” He heard the word, “walk,” and immediately got up. He met some “friends” on his walk; He got to sniff the world and smell the Spring air. Most importantly, he was smiling! And I got a face full of kisses when we returned!

Around the time I decided to take my dog for daily walks, my son wanted to visit our local park on any nice day after school. Evidently someone had introduced him to Handball and he wanted to practice his technique whenever he could. If he made a friend at the park, the two of them would play until the other child either became tired or had to go home. Then it was my turn to be the “substitute” player until another friend came along. I must say, my son is a very good teacher. I started out trying to play tennis with the handball until my son corrected my technique. Then we became quite good competitors! I’m not sure if the other Moms who were standing around conversing thought I was a total nut. It didn’t matter to me because I was bonding with my son on a completely different level. We usually bond cuddling in his bed or spending downtime together. But here we were bonding while being active and enjoying the sport and casual competitiveness. And I admit I enjoy being outside and moving around! I am feeling really good being active again!

So, although resurrecting an exercise routine was the absolute last thing I was planning to do in my life, it’s turning out to be one of the best. I ran into a woman, while walking my dog the other day who had the same breed dog. She said she walked her dog every day...and her dog was 18 years old! Considering that our female dog is 17 years old and my husband still takes her for good walks during his lunch break, there should be no reason why my male dog couldn’t live as long.

The two best gifts of my life: Continuing to cultivate stronger and stronger bonds with my son and having my sweet dog by my side. They will both ensure that I stay healthy and loved!

Things My Child Has Taught Me

As parents, we are constantly teaching our children. It may be overt teaching, role modeling, or simple day-to-day interactions. Conversely, our children are always learning, whether it be through formal education, social interaction, or simple observation of the world around them. There is always something we can always learn.

This past weekend was filled with situations that were fuel for reflection. I would like to share what I learned and even get some feedback from our readers as to what they have learned through being a parent.

1.  Family is the most important aspect of a child’s life.

2.  If a person has even one individual in their life that they trust and feel completely secure with, then they have what they need to feel fulfilled as a human being.

3.  Yes, a dog, or other pet, can, at times, be a sibling.

4.  All work, and no play, can stifle our imagination, our creativity, and lead us to burn out.

5.  Exercise that doesn’t feel like exercise is the best type of exercise of all!

6.  Even 48 year-old, out-of-shape, Moms can learn to play handball!

7.  The best bonding is usually found either through car rides, or sitting together with Legos or a puzzle.

8.  It’s okay if you want to wear your underpants backwards. Who’s going to check?

9.  It’s good to be persistent. It may make a Mother’s hair turn prematurely gray and she may need to hide in the bathroom and count to 1,000, but if your child is motivated to achieve something, or get something done, perseverance and persistence will get them there! Don’t squelch it!

10. Go outside. There is a wonder that nature provides during every season.

11. Introduce yourself to new people. My son does this all the time. I can’t tell you how much fun he has had by walking up to other children around his age and saying, “Hi! I’m Brandon! Want to play?” To my knowledge, his tactic hasn’t failed yet!

12. Leaving the house with two socks on and entering the house with only one can be liberating.

13. When you are down in the dumps and nothing seems to pick up your spirits, go see a movie about hip-hop, singing and dancing birds!

14. Sleep when your child sleeps! Even if that is at 8:30pm! You might find that waking up completely refreshed, rather than putting that last load of laundry away or emptying the dishwasher was so worth it!

15. Children get dirty, especially boys. That’s why boy’s clothing comes in ugly, drab, dark colors. And also why there are 15 different types of stain removers in stores.

16. Show your affection. If you are home, there is no need to ask permission. If you are out in public, ask out of courtesy. And hug like you never want them to leave!