The Calm After the Storm

My son wanted a White Christmas...badly. So badly, that he had me e-mail “Santa” the night before and ask for “lots and lots of snow.” Well, we did get “lots and lots of snow,” in the form of a Blizzard! But just a day late for my son. I fibbed and told him that if it snowed as badly as it had on Christmas day, I wouldn’t have been able to have us go to my best friend’s house to celebrate Christmas. Which also meant that he wouldn’t have been able to play with my best friend’s son nor her sister’s two children that day. So my son forgave Santa.

When my son woke up early Sunday morning he was practically counting the snowflakes as they fluttered out of the clouds! He kept running to the windows to see if there was enough accumulation to make a snowman...or at least a snowball!

Then around midday, the storm really started to pick up. My husband relented and said he would take our son to a park near to where his Mother lives, because there are small hills to ride down on a sled. My son was ecstatic!! We packed up his snow gear and sled! Then Daddy took him off to have some fun in his 4-wheel drive vehicle!

As predicted, but uncertain to us, the blizzard came on so quickly and fast, my husband was not able to get home even in his 4-wheel drive. They detoured to his Mom’s instead.

                                                                       

At first I was disappointed because I had promised my son that I would make the ”biggest snowman ever” with him on Monday, once the storm subsided. Unfortunately, everyone was snowed in very badly. And the roads were completely impassable. I opened my back door to let my dog out that morning and 4 inches of snow fell onto the floor...from behind the storm door!! I pushed the storm door with all my might about 18 inches - just enough for my dog and I to squeeze through.

We were completely and literally snowed in. We have a plow service, but they hadn’t arrived yet. There were 5-foot snowdrifts against my garage. If I opened my front door, 2 feet of snow would have fallen into my house. This was definitely a “go no where, stay at home," kind of day. And I began to like it!! 

I kept looking out of the windows to see the beauty of the snow on tree limbs and foliage, weighing each bow down. The pure, white powder, blanketing our backyard. Untouched in any way. Even our snowman windsock looked like a holiday card! Which it just might become for next year! Nature was finally still, pristine, magnificent in it’s own incredible way.

I thought back to my child who started this life in very much the same way: Pristine and beautiful, as all babies are when they are born. You watch them grow. You see how your manners, values and lifestyle influence their growth. Both the good and the bad! Then our children go through a period when they mirror us. I can remember my son watching me put on make-up when he was 2 years old and trying some out himself, as my husband freaked out over seeing this! I knew this was just a phase. Now I have to beg and plead for my son to put a tiny bit of Chap Stick on his lips so that they don’t crack!

My son is at an age where he is highly influenced by the norms of society, especially through his peers. His way of speaking, his gestures, his humor all demonstrate this. What he likes to do or dislikes is becoming apparent and obviously somewhat influenced by his small world. Like a butterfly in its chrysalis, he is metamorphosing right before my eyes!

They say that the most influential and formative years, where a parent has the most affect on a child’s “core” nature is between the ages of birth and 7 years. In many ways I can see how my interactions with him have had positive affects. Now it’s society’s turn. How will he fair against the odds when his parents aren’t around? How much influence will his peers have on him - both good and not so good? Only time will tell.

In a few days we will have a new year. Good or bad, I’m always curious as to where it will take me. And my somewhat optimistic nature always tends to see it as a fresh start. A new beginning. A time to change. Always starting out fresh, pristine, and untouched. Just like the beauty outside my windows.

I wish all of our readers a very happy, healthy, amazing New Year! Let’s see where it takes us all!

Having Fun on Facebook

I must admit. I have absolutely no holiday spirit whatsoever. In fact, I was going to write this blog about my lethargic attitude regarding the Holidays and title it, “Skipping Christmas.” Then something unexpected, magical and all out FUN happened on Facebook a few nights ago!

I know many of you use Facebook as a source to either connect with friends and/or relatives. I do the same. Some of you even use it as a business avenue, as Motherhood Later does. Then there are those of us who love to play a couple of the games on Facebook. Yes, I hear the groans. But keep reading because you will at least enjoy the story!

I am a Farmville devote (I hear more groans, but also some cheers!). Since my life has been a whirlwind of chaos and stress over the past year and a half, I have gone onto Facebook and entered my farm site and when I am there, it is almost as if I am living in a different world. I can pick and choose how I want to decorate my farm. Decide what I want to participate in. And feel a sense of accomplishment as I watch my farm grow and beautify.

I started out with about three farm neighbors. Your farm neighbors help you tend to your farm and you reciprocate. Over this past year and a half, I have resurrected a forgotten friendship with a friend I worked with years ago. I also have her husband as a neighbor. This friend introduced me to several other farmers who wanted neighbors...people I’ve never met, but have had lovely conversations with outside of Farmville through the messaging medium. My best friend is my neighbor and has asked if I would take on several of her farm neighbors as well. They are funny, sweet people I would have never have met or known otherwise. I even have a set of teen twins as neighbors! Who would have thought??

There also seem to be patterns as to when certain neighbors play. There is the early morning group who play before they go to work (I know because my iPhone “dings” when they leave me a message on my farm site!). There are the mid-late afternoon players who want to get their “fix” in before they have to settle into their evening routines. Then there are the late night/early morning farmers. I typically fall into this category as my son doesn’t fall asleep until close to 10pm. Finally there are the “night owls,” who don’t start playing until 1am and go to 3 or 4am (again, my phone dings, so I know!).

Well, a few nights ago, I started out as a late-nighter, and ended up a “night owl!” Farmville puts various “missions” out at random points in time. Usually these missions involve collecting materials from your neighbors to build a barn or expand a chicken coop, etc. On this particular night, out came something new and different! This new mission was to build a snowman and have a snowball fight while you are doing it! I was having such a blast throwing snowballs at neighbors as they were quickly throwing them back, virtually! There must have been at least a half dozen of us playing all at the same time! You could barely get a snowball message posted when another snowball was virtually coming your way! At 1 am, no less! I was giggling and enjoying myself with my Farm Friends immensely!

The following morning, I entered my farm getting virtually smacked in the face by the early risers! The fun continued!

So, although I still may not be in the Holiday spirit, this game has certainly gotten me into the Winter spirit! At this point, I’ll take any spirit I can get!

(“Splat”...Ugh! They got me again!)

The Rejuvenation of the Spirit - By Cara Potapshyn Meyers

I went to a class at my Temple the other day to learn about the Prophets from the Bible (or Torah as it is called in Judaism). It is an 8 week course run by my favorite woman Rabbi. I initially was going to skip going. I had my excuses. I was still getting over Bronchitis; It was literally the coldest day we’ve had this month; I had errands to run, laundry to do, this blog to write, etc., etc., etc. But I went. And I can’t tell you how glad I did!

I was a little apprehensive going in to the group. The youngest person there was at least 15 years my senior. I was assuaged only by the fact that the Rabbi is probably 10 years younger than me! So I sat next to her!

I have found that almost everyone in this Temple, members as well as staff, are all so very warm and embracing. To my complete surprise, I wasn’t finding that with this group, except for an elderly man, probably in his 80s, who remembered me from another study group. But that didn’t dissuade me. I was there to learn and learn I did!

As I furiously wrote down facts and put together a chronology of sorts in my mind as to who was born when and what was happening in the world at what time, I felt a stirring inside me! That stirring was my love of learning and gaining knowledge in a room of quite learned, well educated people! As questions were thrown out and challenges to the text were issued, I became absorbed into this educational environment! And although I was clearly the youngest (except for the Rabbi, who is quite learned herself!), I found myself questioning ancient beliefs or trying to make sense out of practices that would simply never occur in the world today. I was transfixed. Mesmerized. In my element. The Grinch was slowly softening, as his (my) heart was growing 10 sizes too big! I was actually enjoying myself! 

I think I need to go to more classes. The everyday problems of my life are consuming me. More classes will probably not only distract me, but also engage me. I need to feel proud of my academic yearnings. Right now I feel dead inside. Lifeless. I don’t even know what is going on in the world. I need to reach out and embrace my innate need for knowledge and a better awareness of life as a whole.

There is a class I am planning on attending right after the New Year. It is a fresh start. A New Beginning. A new commitment. A place to go to stretch my mind, open up my social circle, and leave feeling not only smarter, but more empowered!

This past year has been beyond rough. It has been horrendous. It needs to change. I’m looking forward to change. I need it. Desperately. And I am going to do whatever I need to do to get myself back together. It is time.

A New Year. A lot of change. More positivity. I’m ready to go!

The Hassle of Interfaith Traditions

I will admit it. I am tired and overwhelmed celebrating Hanukkah and Christmas in our home. Thank goodness that at least the holidays are spread apart this year by a few weeks.

I’m exhausted. I am exhausted by my life. I am exhausted by issues with my son’s teacher that need to be resolved. And as my son is getting older, I am getting exhausted by his mile long list he has of items he wants for Hanukkah and Christmas.

Yes, we are raising him in the Jewish faith. But we don’t celebrate Christmas for it’s religious aspects. We celebrate it because, “it was Mommy’s tradition growing up.” 

My son believes in Santa...still! You would think by now, after going to Hebrew school for his third year and having Jewish friends, he would have been let in on the secret that, “No, Brandon...there isn’t a Santa Claus.” But my son is not buying it. Or at least he is so smart that if he let’s on that he realizes that there ISN’T a Santa Claus, he won’t get as many gifts. I am tending to lean towards the latter. However when he approached me this past weekend about writing up a list for Santa and wanting to mail it...stamps and all...I’m really not sure.

In any event, I’m tired. I’m tired of decorating for two holidays. I’m tired of wrapping gifts for two holidays. But I’m not so tired that I want to disappoint my son.

I tried to get away with using only our electric menorah to light a candle each night for Hanukkah. But my son loves to watch the real candles burn and was so let down when I told him we were only going to use the electric menorah, that I dug up the real one and we’ve been using it with real candles. And my son figured out how to use the “CHILD-PROOF” candle lighter!! That’s the most scary thing of all!! It is now locked away. I can’t believe he not only figured out how to use it, but has the strength and coordination TO use it!! I almost fainted when he showed me!!

Anyway...back to this past weekend. My son also wanted to put up our “Holiday Tree.” Due to our old one being too heavy and cumbersome to drag up from the basement myself, I donated it to someone who really needed one and bought a “pop-up” tree from Brookstone catalog. Although it is not as full and bushy as our old one, it was certainly MUCH easier to put up than our old one! And at the end of the season, it collapses flat, in it’s carry box. No more struggling to drag a massive tree up the stairs any more!! And my son just wants a tree to decorate. He really doesn’t care if it is “full and bushy” or not.

I will put stockings on our mantle, but that’s about all. No tchotchkes are coming out. No special dishes. No Hanukkah adornments. Nothing. Nada. None. Because really, the only one who really cares about the Holidays in our home is our son. And at his age, what REALLY matters are the gifts. So the Holidays are going to be streamlined to the absolute bare minimum this year.

The Grinch is residing in our home.

Gratitude and Reclaiming Family

For those of you who read my blog last week, you may recall how disappointed I was going to a restaurant for the first time ever for Thanksgiving. I mentioned that I was invited by cousins to go for dinner at an upscale restaurant. My son was also invited, but I didn’t think that he could sit for such a prolonged period of time with only adults. I made the decision to have my son go with my husband to his mother’s for Thanksgiving, where there would be other children for my son to play with, rather than be the only child, at a table, in a stuffy restaurant. It was the perfect decision!

From what I was told, my son had a splendid time with the two other boys at my in-law’s! He had such a good time that one family was sleeping over, so my son wanted to sleep over too! My husband came back to our house, collected items for my son’s overnight bag, and my husband and son stayed over my in-law’s Thanksgiving night!

I had my own fabulous time! I love getting together with my cousins because we always end up talking nonstop! And talk we did! We ended up taking most of our meals to go because we just couldn’t stop yakking! The bites of food I did try, were certainly delectable! I was shocked that this restaurant was able to produce a Thanksgiving dinner even better than I have ever had at home! It was beyond delicious! In any event, I digress.

I brought with me downloaded photos of family on my father’s side, from Michigan, who “found” me on Facebook. Last summer, the wife of my second cousin sent me a message asking if I was the daughter of Michael Potapshyn (just how many “Potapshyns” are there, really?). I responded that I was. Ever since, I have been corresponding with his wife (Maggie), her three daughters, and another second cousin who lives in California! As my cousins and I perused through the pictures, we unanimously decided that our other female cousin, who lives in Florida, looks exactly like Maggie’s middle daughter! And furthermore, my cousins then looked at Maggie’s first-born daughter and declared that I look very much like her! When I sent a message to Maggie later that evening, relating this observation, she said that she looked closely at some photos of me and of her eldest daughter, and that she agreed that there was a strong resemblance!

As our 5-course meal was concluding, and take-home bags were piling up, we decided to forgo dessert in the restaurant, as one of my cousins had an entire buffet of desserts waiting for us at her home. Still chatting away, we made our way back to her house. Once inside, as my cousins were setting up the “buffet,” I walked around the living room admiring my cousin’s taste in decoration. Out of the corner of my eye, I spotted two photos on an end table that I had seen before, but not at my cousin’s house. When my father lived by himself, he had two ancient photos on his desk. Both photos were of his family circa 1920. In one of the photos, my father was a toddler, holding onto his father’s knee. My father at that age looked like the spitting image of my son when my son was a toddler! When my father became too elderly to manage living alone, we moved him closer to us. And in packing his belongings, I have a feeling he threw out those two photos.

I looked in every box, every drawer, every cabinet, and every closet, in search of those photos! I asked my father, whose memory was not very good at the time, if he knew what happened to those two photos. He couldn’t recall. Once my father passed away, I gave his home a complete and thorough going through, but to my utter disappointment, never found those photos. I was devastated.

Now, here were those same two photos, sitting on my cousin’s table! I became so excited, I squealed! My cousin thought something was wrong, but in my excitement, I joyously exclaimed, “You have them!! You have the pictures my father also had but I thought he threw them away!!” She joined in with my excitement and said, “Let’s scan them into the computer right now and e-mail them to you, so that you have copies of them!” There was excitement abound as we were scanning! We saw a very close resemblance of our paternal Grandfather to one of my cousins! We all knew that the oldest child died in childhood of an illness, but all of us were given conflicting stories. We were like kids again, sharing excitement over something that meshed us together! It was a fantastic, memorable moment!

Next my cousin went through a drawer and found photos of our parents with their family when our parents were probably in their 20s! My cousin had 4 of that particular photo, so she gave one to me, which I plan to scan into my computer for safekeeping!

I think the most important reason why I was so overjoyed by the discovery of these photos was really for my son. My father passed away when my son was 3 1/2. However my son still remembers my father vividly. I want to show my son the photo of his “Poppy” when Poppy was a toddler. And then put a photo of my son as a toddler next to it to show my son how similar they both looked at that same age! I also want my son to know that he has family other than my in-laws. I am an “only child” and my parents are both deceased. But we still have family of mine that lives close by as well as newfound family that lives in Michigan! And I would like to take my son to visit the “Michigan side of the family” at some point in time!

So, all told, I had an unexpectantly marvelous Thanksgiving, on so many levels! Sharing newfound relatives, spending quality time with existing ones, finding old photos of family that is now deceased and obtaining copies of these photos as keepsakes to share with my son! How more grateful could one possibly get?!

Well, there is one more thing I was grateful for. Delicious leftovers from our incredible meal the next day!!